random funny things

[just a few funny things i wanted to remember.]

the other night before bed we were kneeling down together for family prayer and i was helping my son pray. as i was whispering into his ear what to say, he whispered back (what i thought) everything i was telling him. but as i listened to him a little closer i realized he wasn't copying what i was saying, but instead quietly singing, "yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me..." i couldn't help but bust up laughing in the middle of prayer. i know, so irreverent. this kid kills me sometimes! ha!

most recently, today he came into the bedroom and asked me for my phone. after he walked out i went to go check on him and this is what i found...

...potty break while catching up on facebook. 

(i wonder who he got this idea from?...and it's not me)

{ i now know what i'm doing }

this morning i had one of those random thoughts "why do i even do that?"

everytime i go to the store to buy a watermelon [ i act like i know what i'm doing. ]

i first look in the large pile of huge, round fruit and then promply choose my choice of method for watermelon-picking. and the method of choice usually depends on how i'm feeling that day. since being married and actually having to pick out and buy the melon (not my mother) i have devised 3 methods of picking that perfect watermelon (since i was never taught) that usually work for me....if i'm lucky.

method A) pick out the prettiest, brightest ball of green with no blemishes.

method B) knock on each watermelon and pretend like i know what kind of sound i'm looking for.

method C) close my eyes, put each hand on a different watermelon, and use my psychic powers to feel which one is the sweetest and juciest.

honestlly, i usually go with method C. and it's successful, most of the time. so either i'm really lucky....or i actually am psychic.

luckily, this morning i got put up on game by my best friend, PINTEREST. i came across a link "How To Pick A Superstar Watermelon" . now that i've found a more reliable method of watermelon picking and i now know what i'm doing, i just might have to make a quick stop at the grocery store today. and if i'm really brave i might try making 'otai...'cause last time was a FAIL.

{ mommy confessions }

-sometimes i let my son drink diet coke. one night he was crying to drink some of mine. i was too tired to deal with him so i filled his sippy cup with some. hey, at least i diluted it with water.

-my son doesn't really have a bedtime. i like him to go to sleep at night when i do because i'd rather him not wake up in the morning before i do or before i can get some things done around the house with out him...which means he goes to bed pretty late sometimes.

-i didn't even cry when he was born (like i imaged i would). not because i loved him any less, but i was just TOO EXHAUSTED from pushing out an almost 10 lber that i didn't even have enough energy to shed one tear.

-i actually like that he sleeps right next to me every night in my bed.

-i always feel a bit of guiltiness everytime i do something for 'just myself'.

-i let him go barefoot all the time and it doesnt bother me if he picks up a piece of food off the ground and eats it...as long as its not a cigarete, old gum, or rocks. a 'lil dirt wont hurt...right? lol

-when i go to go to the grocery store or laundry mat alone...it feels like a mini vacation.

-i hid my son's Buzz Lightyear action figure for a couple days because I couldn't stand hearing him scream and cry, like someone had died (yes, it was that serious!) every time his 'position' was slighly altered (he likes him standing a certain way with his hands perfectly on his hips, wings expanded, and feet/legs perfectly straight so he can balance correctly and stand on the table by himself)

-actually, i have another confession to add to the last one...Buzz's couple days of solitary confinement wasn't enough for me so I let him 'sleepover' at Gigi's house (where he is still sleeping)

-when i feel like i'm starting to loose it or go a little crazy, i put myself on time-out (for the safety of others).

-i've let my son eat nothing but cake for breakfast.......a couple times.

-by the time our 2nd one comes along, there's going to be an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny feeling of saddness because my son will no longer be my only and we won't get that same one-on-one time. (but of course i'll be far happier with another addition because that means two sidekicks and more cheap child labor.....lol just kiiiiiiiidding.)

-for keepsakes, i saved a part of my son's umbilical cord when it fell off his tummy a couple weeks after he was born. (i dont really think this is a confession but my husband thinks i'm sick/gross for doing this and acts like it should be one.)

-when my son is playing on the playground and an older kid starts teasing him, my son will show them a 'lil fist action (even though he's younger and smaller. NO FEAR!) Verbally, I'll put on a show and tell him to stop because "that's not nice" (just so their parents will stop throwing a hissy fit) but inside I'm jumping up and down, fist pumping, shouting "YEAH BABY! GET 'UM! DON'T LET THAT KID PUNK YOU!"

that was a few more confessions than i expected....and there's probably still a lot more. lol

i may not be a perfect mommy...

 but i'm real.

i say sorry when i'm wrong.

i take the time to stay close to my son, teach him, and to know him -his likes, dislikes, what makes him happy or sad, and to make sure he knows i care.

i [ show ] him i love him and [ tell ] him about a hundred times a day.

i may not be the best at...a lot of things, but i know i'm a pretty dang good mommy and the [ best ] one for my son!

we're cool ;)

{ Safi's-go-round }

Laugh of the week...

"AT DAWN WE RIDE!!!!"

(My son in all seriousness.)

{ Real Talk }

To be totally honest with you....

{ What? }

 Laugh of the week...

....And when a man says "what?", it's not because he didn't hear you. He's trying to buy time to think of an excuse to say next.

True story.

{ If only... }

The standard -every- husband should live by:

 IF ONLY this were true...

-I'd wake up every morning to a clean kitchen..oh, and breakfast in bed.

-he would watch baby and be oh-so-patient while I shopped at H&M for a couple hours.

-I would get to watch my favorite shows (in peace) while he gave me a massage and folded the laundry at the same time!

-he would write his papers ahead of time so I'm not stuck doing it for him on a Friday night

If only... haha Oh well, I know my Sugardaddy got me!

Aaaaaaand I'm pretty sure my husband has an entire 'if only' list for me as well...too bad he doesn't have a blog. ;)

{ Halloween costumes }

I can't wait to go Halloween costume shopping for baby this weekend! As much as I am tempted to dress him up like this....

('cause I think it's the cutest/funniest costume ever!)

or this....

(but I think making my son Dwight would just be cruel, but funny. plus he doesn't have the hair color or nose. by the way-I wonder what this kid's parents look like?...'cause he looks exactly like him! )

....I figured since he now understands more, he would rather be something he would want to be. So I think we might just have to go with his #1 HERO:

But if we had a family dog it would so be this...

or this....

Anyways, I'm so excited to take my son to the pumpkin patch and trick-or-treating. He's gonna love it!

{ I'm Legit }

You're not a legit adult/mother until you shop at Costco with at least one kid in the shopping cart.

{ I love cleaning }

...starting off my Friday cleaning up all the confetti on my bedroom floor from magazines my son ripped up last night and washing a comforter with throw up on it. Lovely.

On a better note, my cousin, Colby, and her little fam just got in last night from Hong Kong. I think the last time I saw them was before I got married before either of us had kids. Last night we went to Grama's house to go see them. I think the twins, Indy and Jet, think their cousin Safi Boy is CUH-razy! Indy tried hugging him but he was like the Tazmanian Devil so she couldn't even get close enough and Jet and him fought over one of those huge exercising balls. (Not a good first impression Baby!) It was so good seeing them again and finally meeting my niece and nephew. Looking forward to the next week with them. Hopefully my son will be better mannered next time...crazy tamasi'i!

{ WTF }

W..T..F.. It's (F)riday and my Sugar Daddy has the entire weekend off! Oh whhaaaat?!  I can't even remember the last time he got an entire weekend off...?? We don't even know what to do with ourselves with all this extra time? ...maybe catch a movie and a temple sesh, run some errands, some retail therapy, and then do a b s o l u t e l y nothing but relax!

{ Don't Do It! }

This is what my cal-king bed looks like every night, but with me hanging half way off it.

It started off when baby was about 5 months old. He'd go to sleep in his crib at night, then wake up around 4 am to eat. I'd bring him to our bed and we would both fall back to sleep while he grubbed. Now about 16 months later...he's still waking up in our bed. Don't get me wrong, I do LOVE falling asleep next to my 'lil man every night and having him sleep so close to me so I know he's OK during the night but lately.....it seems like he's been moving more and more every night. How do I know this? ....'cause I've been counting the number of times I've been kicked or smacked in the face each night. Since he's our first, that makes him our 'experimental child'. Now we know what not to do with our next one. Until then, he'll get to enjoy the privilege of our cal-king.

But my advice to all you young parents or future parents...Don't Do It!

{ secret ingredient soup }

...and this is who my son is named after, Safi {Troy},

If any of you know my Uncle Troy, this is totally normal.

{ girl products }

It's Friday!!! Only thing better than Friday is Friday PAY DAY! ...buuuuuut today isn't  that Friday. Shoot. 

Anyways, here's the laugh of the week...

When a woman goes to the store and has to buy any type of girl products she always makes sure it's a woman  working at the register before she get's in that line to help minimize the awkwardness 'cause c'mon...watching a guys scan your box of tampons or put your panties in plastic bag is just awkward! ...or maybe I'm the only woman who feels this way.

So I stopped at Wal-mart the other day to pick up a couple things and once I got what I needed I jumped in the 20 Items or Less line (thinking I would be in-and-out) There were only two people ahead of me, one guy and then a (larger) woman already standing by the register ready to buy her items. As the Wal-mart employee was scanning her things he got to her bra and couldn't find a price tag to scan. So he held up the parachute (aka 42DDD bra) high into the air (I was trying so hard not to laugh...'cause who does that?) so every person in Wal-mart could see and flipped it front to back looking for a price tag. No luck. So he goes on the intercom, "PRICE CHECK FOR THE LINGERIE DEPARTMENT"  and calls another employee to take the parachute and find the price. This poor lady was so mortified as she and every other person in the 20 items or less waited....and waaaaiiiiiited for the guy to get back. Once people started leaving the line then I could tell she felt waaaaay embarrassed by the awkward way she was standing and her blushed cheeks. Finally I left the line 'cause it was taking way too long. Sorry lady. That's why you should have jumped in a line with a woman at the register 'cause I'm pretty sure she would have had a little more sympathy by not holding up your parachute and trying to fly away with it in Wal-mart.

But I guess I have no room to talk because when I went to Rite-aid the other day to pick up some girl products I made sure I was in the line with a lady. When I got to the front to pay I handed her my coupon (yes, I'm turning into one of those crazy coupon ladies lol) And for some reason the coupons weren't working so she asked me to step aside to the next register and the manager would help me. The manager come and it's......a guy. Great. He tried to figure out why the coupons were not working then after 5 minutes says, "Sorry ma'am but these coupons won't work for this box of tampons. Would you like me to grab you a different box?" 

"ummmmm (so embarrassed) no thank you." And I ran out empty handed.

Moral of the story: If your going to buy any girl products either get in the line with a woman at the register and have working  coupons or make your husband buy it for you.

Happy Friday!

 

Guess who?! Haha I found this pic in my photos and it made me laugh. 

{ tipsy-turvy }

One too many spins at the park...

 

*no child was hurt during the filming of this movie.

{ role play }

(early-earlier this morning)

it's 3 am.

our son is sleeping in the other room.

Saf and I are still up sick, half-awake, and talking gibberish.

hubby: babe, say that line from 300..you know, the queen's part...

wifey: what line? (thinking to myself..what the tiredness?! you want to do this right now?!)

hubby: when he's leaving to go to war...

wifey: ugh..why is every single guy so obsessed with this movie?

hubby: because who wouldn't want to die like a hero, be ripped with 6 pack abs, and have a beautiful half naked woman (jokingly said...but really he's serious HAHA)

wifey: (the serious-confused-ima punch you look) ...a half naked woman?!

hubby: c'mon babe just say the line?

wifey: "this is SPAAAAARTA!"
hubby: no not that one...
wifey: "my queen! my wife, my love..."

hubby: no baby NOT that one either...the one the queen says

wifey: oh... (thinking) um....i don't remember? how does it go again?

hubby: "spartan!"... "come back with your shield, or on it" (which was quoted VERY dramatically) k now you say it...

wifey: (roll my eyes) "Spartan!"

hubby: "yes, my lady?"

wifey: "come back with your shield, or on it" (but said less dramatic)

hubby: "yes, my lady" (very serious)

**in case you're not familiar with this movie-here's the scene we just role played

wifey: (annoyed) how can you remember every single line from a movie but you can't remember a FA-rikkin thing I tell you?!

hubby: (oblivious to what I just asked him) "No man, Persian or Greek, no man threatens a messenger!"

 "You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!"

"This is blasphemy! This is madness!" 

"Madness...?

(now he's shouting)

This is Sparta!!!!!! (ya, he totally just forgot what I said to him 2 seconds ago)

 wifey: OK babe, now come back to reality before you wake up the baby!

**here's my husbands 6-pack abs (it's actually an 8-pack if you look really, really close) [just kidding babe!]

**oh, and CAN'T forget his half-naked woman! [if only i looked something like this! haha in your dreams babe!]

There's never a dull moment with us, even at 3 o'clock in the morning. <3

{my sleepy-dilemma}

*disclaimer: there is really no point to this entry. i'm just tired, annoyed with myself, and in need of a good laugh. I promise my next entry will have a purpose. haha

so i woke up this morning with chocolate candy wrappers on the floor next to my side of the bed and a sore tummy. "what the frik?! tell me those are from my husband and not me?!" .....yuuuuuup, they were from me. ugh. i have a confession to make. you know how some people sleep-talk..others sleep-walk...well, I sleep-eat. yes, sleep-eat as in i totally don't recall getting up in the middle of the night, walking to the kitchen, and eating half a dozen cookies. i don't know why i do this...or how to stop it. what's even worse is Saf will be up watching tv and he'll see me do this and not do anything, but laugh at me the next day when i ask him where the rest of ice cream went. jerk. since i've been on my "get-right-loose weight-before i have another baby" spree i've been doing good at watching what i eat in the day time....but once the bedtime rolls around, i'm done for! i'm not too sure what triggers these episodes but let me take a wild guess....STRESS! maybe it would help if i added in a couple more "woooosaaaaaaas" into my day or invested in a punching bag, better yet use my husband as one. or maybe i just need to padlock the fridge, freezer, and pantry every night before i go to sleep. eh. i need to figure something out soon before i accidentally sleep-walk again and eat my own hand off! ok. it's late. i'm tired. time for bed. wish me luck tonight!

PS. when i googled "sleep walk eating" i  found out that it's actually a disorder. i don't know if i should laugh or cry. maybe i better look a lil more into that. haha

*oh ya...if i see you in person please don't make fun of my sleep-eating disorder. i'll kill you. jp. no really though.