prego update

...aaaannnnd still NO BABY!

my due date is on tuesday (January 1st) and today i found out i'm only dialated to a 1 1/2. ugh. i really thought i was further along because i've been doing the most trying to get this baby out. i'm almost desperate enough to get out tomorrow and walk for 3 hours straight while going to town on some jalepenos and red rooster sauce...but not desperate enough to down castor oil. although, i was desperate enough to look up on youtube how to preform acupressure and locate the pressure points that stimulate natural induction. didn't work but i'm going to try round 2 tonight. i was crossing my fingers for a december baby so my mama could make it to birth but looks like that's not happening since she's leaving for utah tomorrow. 

despite these past couple days dragging, this pregnancy has really flown by. i still remember the day i found out i was expecting. i waited a couple days after that to tell my husband (which was the hardest thing for me to do because it's hard to keep anything from him and i'm the worst liar). since his birthday had just pasted at the time, i decided to give him a late birthday gift. i wrapped two test in a box (and of course i had to get the test that actually said "PREGNANT" because he wouldn't have remembered what the double lines meant) and told him i had a late birthday present for him. he thought it was the new phone he had been wanting. he was totally surprised and caught off guard once he finally opened the box and saw the tests. he didn't 'cry' but it was a tender moment seeing him get all choked up. and i got the whole thing on video...

(sorry, the sounds sucks.)

 

my birthday boy!

my son, safi boy, just had his 3rd birthday last week. i can't believe 3 years have already gone by since i had my almost 10 lber baby!

he woke up on his big day surrounded by birthday balloons. for breakfast i made him his favorite, pancakes and eggs.

him trying to understand the concept that he's "3" now. 

saf and i planned on taking him out but he refused. all he wanted to do was stay home and play with his new train that he got from his aunty layn. later on in the afternoon is cousins, baby nice and 'lil chris, came over and played with him. after they left he knocked out for a quick nap...right next to his train.

we went over to gigi's house that night for some cake and ice cream and more presents.

...with his great grama and grampa wihongi.

his aunty terewai made him a spiderman birthday cake and cake balls.

 him trying to kiss spiderman right before we devoured him.

him and i throwing up the spiderman sign before we sang happy birthday,

"ooooohhhhh" he was so excited! when we sang happy birthday to him he kept on blowing out the candles before we could finish the song.

only he would "pound" his birthday present to try and open it.

my christmas baby and i...only he's not so much a "baby" anymore.

oh, and i couldn't forget the highlight of the night. his cousin, nohea, got him a spiderman shirt and underwear. he couldn't wait to try them on so he literally threw off all his clothes and flexed for us after he got the underwear on (they were a little big but he didn't care). i swear this kid was born all muscle!

by the way, his 'tail' has been growing for exactly 2 years now. it was my husband's idea (of course) for him to have it. i use to hate it...but now don't mind it so much because it kind of goes with his personality. anyone who knows my son knows what i mean.

i am not saying i am wonder woman but...

today i:

-went costco shopping with the rest of the world (or so it seemed) and almost lost my voice from constantly yelling at my son to stay close to me because he kept on getting crushed in between people's shopping carts

-had lunch with my son...er...more like walked around costco so many times that we collected and ate enough samples to equal a lunch

-unloaded the groceries from the car, which meant making a million trips up and down the stairs

-vacuumed the entire car

-went to the 99 cent store, shopped some more, and then miscalculated the space between the side of my shopping cart and the wall when i tried walking around it to pay. yup, i got stuck. i always forget how far out this belly is now. i was too embarrassed to even look at the customer waiting in line behind me because i'm sure i looked pretty ridiculous trying to unwedge my prego self away from the shopping cart and the wall

-took my son to the park and pushed him on the swing until his little heart was content

-stopped at the grocery store to pick up the things that i forgot to get earlier in the day

-unloaded more groceries and made a billion more trips up and down the stairs

-actually cooked a real dinner (no frozen or fast food involved or incorporated)

-cleaned out the fridge...cleaned the kitchen...cleaned...cleaned...then cleaned some more...

-finally prepared my young women lesson that i put off all week because i had no time to do it

...all by myself with just my 3 year old, sick, and 9 months prego!

 

...i am also 'just saying' that all this walking, carrying, and running errands better put me into labor AND make it a quick delivery at that!

{ what is your love language? }

"what is your love language?"

i'm bilingual.

words of affirmation & quality time.

too bad mine and my husbands language isn't the same. but the funny thing is, the longer we're together the more our love languages rub off on one another and we start needing the same things as they other person.

anyway, i know i've already mentioned this book before but it is seriously life changing. at least for me it was. i not only understand my husband better but also the people around me. read it.

my goodwill lucky finds

brand new from Target circo cube organizer. i've been wanting one of these forever to help organize all these toys! [ $25]

brand new hungry hungry hippo game. my son has been wanting this game for awhile now. [ $7]

 2 shirts and a pair of shorts for my son. [3/$3]

 brand new church shoes for my son from Target. [$3]

 ugly christmas wreath. [$3] i tried adding my own ornaments to it (on right) but it's still ugly and needs some more work. lol

 george foreman grill. [$5] excited to use this thing to help make my healthy meals and get my body back after baby is here.

 brand new hat from Target. [$2]

brand new maternity sweater from Target. [$5]

total spent: $53

lesson learned:

you don't need to break the piggy bank to look cute or find the things you need.

{ most difficult thing for me to forgive }

back in june i started { 30 things }, a month of answering a question about yourself each day. i started this for my kids sake in hopes that they'd read it one day. anyways due to morning sickness and the craziness of life i never finished it...but i'm going to at least try and finish now before baby #2 arrives. i believe i left off on day 18...

 

"What has been the most difficult thing you  have had to forgive?

i was actually just going to leave this question out because the answer is so personal. but i changed my mind because there is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. but i will just keep my answer simple and to the point.

forgiving my abuser from my childhood has been the most difficult thing for me to forgive. almost my entire life was spend carrying this heavy burden of pain, shame, and helplessness. i couldn't go back into the past and change things, and that fact drove me crazy. i finally realized that i wasn't that helpless little girl. what happened happened. but now it was my decision of whether or not i wanted to continue carrying this burden and be miserable the rest of my life....or let it go and be happy. the decision was mine and no one else's. it literally took me years just to contemplate whether or not i was, or even could, forgive this person and what they did to me. i could no longer live the way i was anymore. it got to the point where it was effecting my son, and by then i knew things within me had to change. 

i went to the temple one day and before i left i said a silent, heartfelt prayer telling Heavenly Father that i truly forgave him, my abuser (i have no contact whatsoever with this person so forgiving him face to face wasn't an option). as i closed my prayer i immediately felt [ lighter ] and [ peaceful ]. i vividly remember walking through the temple grounds to my car feeling so happy and having this sense of inner [ strength ] that i had never experienced before. in my mind the words, "HE NO LONGER OWNS ME. I AM FREE." left a deep impression upon me. my life has changed for the [ best ] since that day.

there is always HOPE.

you can HEAL.

the atonement is REAL.

(one of my favorite talks by Richard G. Scott)

daydreaming about future baby girl

honestly, i still think there's a slight chance i might be having a girl. yes, i did see the ultrasound but hey, they could be wrong. i just thought for sure my second was going to be a girl. either way though i will be more than happy with which ever gender comes out but i mean, i'm not going to believe [ it's a boy ] until he's out and i can actually see his boy parts.

so anyways...just thinking ahead to when i DO have my baby girl...

this is how i want to decorate her bedroom.

theme:

  [ vintage mermaid ]

using these colors.

and creative lighting.

and i might even have to have an actual mermaid photoshoot of her wearing something like this...

 or this...

welp, i guess we're just going to have to wait a couple more weeks to know for sure what we're having. if we do end up with another boy my interior decorating plans will just have to wait a couple more years, but if we do have a girl then i guess i'll be giving away all these brand new baby boy clothes that i just ripped the price tags off of.

one more thing before i leave...

my friend Pua shared this on her facebook.

i loved this comparison used to teach girls about their great self worth and modesty.  i'm definitely going to be teaching to my future daughter(s) this.

 

Boxer Muhammad Ali’s Advice To His Daughter

An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing. Here is the story as told by one of his daughters: “When we finally arrived, th

e chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.” He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

 

is this normal?

yesterday safi boy and i were out running errands. as we ran to various stores i bought him a bag of marshmellows (his current favorite treat), a simple toy, and took a few quick pics as we were walking through the parking lot in the rain. i couldn't help but feel a little sad knowing that he wasn't going to be [ my only one ] for much longer. of course i'm more than excited to have #2 and i have no doubts that i will love this next one just as much as my first...but there's still this speck of me that is sad because i know our relationship will never be the same. we're never going to have the same constant on-on-one time together. and i don't know...things just won't ever be the same. 

 is this normal?

 i told my husband about these feelings and he thinks i'm crazy...and weird. but a mother/son relationship is much different so he just doesn't get it. so we'll just enjoy this next month and make the most of it until his baby brother gets here. then we'll move to the next chapter in our lives and make it into something even better.

a productive day of nothing

only four more weeks until this baby boy (but i still have 20% hope that it's a girl) gets here. i cannot believe how fast time has flown this pregnancy!  it's getting harder to do much these days. like today, my son and i have done a b s o l u t e l y nothing! i'm still in my pajamas and now that i'm thinking about it i don't think i brushed my teeth either. oh, sorry. TMI? the only productive thing we did do was learn the #1...

Safi and I already decided that teaching our children the importance of education will be a major focus in our home and in their lives. what better time to start then now, right? by the way, i just got these preschool workbooks from the 99 cent store yesterday and so far my boy loves them! you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars a month for preschool when you can just do it yourself. (not to mention the endless ideas, worksheets, and craft ideas that you can get off pinterest as well)

part of the reason we've been in stuck mode today is my husband drove to work (and he has the car with the booster seat and stroller in it). he was suppose to get off almost 12 hours ago and he's still working! i texted him, totally irritz because i figured he had gone somewhere else straight after work and left us with no ride, until he texted me back this pic...

that's his i'm-annoyed-at-you face....he even made sure the clock was in there so i could see the time. eh, MODED! (sorry babe!) i'm glad i married this hard working man. i better go start cooking dinner because this guy is going to be hungry by the time he gets off. after that i'll be back to my very productive day of sleeping, youtube, and netflix.....maybe i'll do a workout, maybe.

Niner gang

a couple weeks ago my husband got a break from work and went up to San Francisco to catch a

 [ 49ers ] game. it's usually my son and i who are going away on quick getaways but i'm glad my husband was finally able to go on one with the guys and see his favorite team play (thanks to my daddy).

did i mention they got pre-game passes onto the field too?

 "it's not what you know, it's who you know."

the boys.

my bro, spence and dad.

looking through the pics on Saf's phone after he got back and i came across this pic. he carved our names at a lookout point by the golden gate bridge. sappy, i know, but [ so sweet ].