Whole 30: 2 month update

Here's my results from doing whole30, well technically whole60 since I did it for 60 days. I'd recommend this program to anyone whose trying to loose weight and change their relationship with food. Besides loosing 18 lbs here's the other reasons why I love this program:

-you just eat real food and as much as you want and need as long as it's protein, vegetables, fruit, or good fats. 

-no wasting money on pills or shakes

-no counting or keeping track of anything

-noticed a difference in my hair and nails. They felt stronger. 

-clearer mind

-stopped the binge eating on the weekends

-reduced sugar cravings dramatically

-clearer skin

-more energy

-quit my bad habit of snacking/taking few bites of not clean food here and there (which really adds up at the end of each day) 

-slept better

-stopped the habit of mindless eating

-felt in control of my body, which in turn helped me feel more in control in other areas of my life

-just felt happier because I was putting good good into my body

Overall, I feel like I've been able to really change the way I think about food and my relationship with it. I still have a long way until I hit my goal so I'm going to continue it and see how far I can go. If you want more if you on what exactly whole30 is check out whole30.com

Whole 30: one month progress

I just completed my first whole30 and I'm already addicted to the results! I am now three months postpartum. The pic on the left was taken sometime at the end of June and the one on the right was taken today.

If you're not familiar with whole30 you can check it out on whole30.com for more info. Anyways, I'm going to stick with this through out August as well and see if I can make it to 60 days. 

Not trying to toot my own horn but.......*toot toot! Shoot, I'm proud of my little progress. Seriously, three kids is no joke! My days have started to just blur together and 90% of my time is dedicated to my kids all day everyday so doing this one thing for myself (getting back to a healthier me) and staying committed to my goals feels freakin' awesome! AND @whole30 featured my progress pic on their instagram! Ok, ok I know I'm letting my head get way too BIG right now but just let this mama ride it out for the rest of today. My (acute) postpartum depression self needed it. By tomorrow my ego will have leveled out and I'll be ready to get back to work. Once you start seeing results it gets so addicting! I can't wait to take my next progress pic at the end of August. Follow me on Instagram @thehavenlydose if you're down to try whole30 and need some ideas of what to eat. 

What I always remind my husband of...

       

 

Up late with the hubby turned into funny late night convos of our past dating experiences. Some girls were doing the most just to try and marry a "polynesian". lol anyways, I love those nights where we just stay up all night while the kids sleep and talk about everything and absolutely nothing. Those are the best kind of date nights.

                                                              #PARTNERLETMEUPGRADEU

Random

Guys who pluck/shave/wax/shape their eyesbrows have issues. Unless your eyebrows meet in the middle, just leave the eyebrow business to the women.

Girl, enough with the duck lips/kissy face. Not saying I'm not guilty of this but that's so myspace. Sheesh, does everyone of your pics really have to be the same pose? You're face might appear thinner but your lips just look...weird when you do it.

My boys and I are having major Disneyland WITHDRAWALS! I'm so tempted to renew our passes. Maybe once I master grocery shopping alone with three kids I'll be ready for disneyland.

Do people really still go to the mall to get portraits done? They're soooo cheesy...especially the couple ones.

I need to start a summer bucket list for my boys and I. 

It's been a slow Saturday night. Can you tell?

No duh?!

When it comes to kids who aren't their own, people (strangers and/or acquaintances) seriously have the dumbest questions and comments. I've realized that after you have three kids it just gets worse! For example...

When a stranger sees me with my newborn son they approach me all bubbley and ask, "awwww, is this your first." As soon as I say, "no, it's my third" their happy smile immediately drops and in comes the judgemental eye with the usual comment, " wow! Three boys! You reeeeeeally have your hands full."

NOOOOOO DUH?! I fee like all they're thinking is, "sheesh ever heard of birth control?" 

I feel like people cringe when they find out you have more than two. What's funny is I never even thought three kids was a lot. Just wait until we have the rest of our kids and it will probably make you die! 

Or...

When someone you barely know asks you through Instagram, "what kind of birth control do you use?"

UMMMM... Ya let me just tell you person-who-I-don't-even-know-who-is-probably-just-stalking-me so everyone who reads through my comments can think about my sex life and know unnecessary information about me. stupid question didn't even get a response. 

Or... 

when they ask me the age of my kids and once they find of the last two are only one year apart they  ask while pointing at child number 3, "so was he planned?"

DOES IT MATTER?! Does he deserve to be loved less if he wasn't? 

Or...

When I get asked, "is he a good baby?"

IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR A BABY TO BE BAD? I mean, they are innocent.

(I'm guilty of asking this next one but have since learned not to ask it after having my own miscarriage and taking over a year to finally have Niko. It can simply just be too touchy of a subject depending on a couple's situation.)

"So when are you guys going to have you're next one?"

I DON'T KNOW. LET ME JUST CHECK MY CALENDAR. THE LAST TIME MY HUSBAND AND I MADE LOVE WAS... Haha maybe that response might get them feeling just as uncomfortable. Really though, is it any of your business?

I never take offense from any of the questions or comments -just a little annoyed at times. 

I feel like there's no much negativity in our society when I comes to people having more than two kids. People act as if you're going to over populate the earth or that life is over as I you know it. I mean, life does change but it's not over. 

My body may be a little 'thicker' than I would like at the moment, I may have to buy diapers instead of those new shoes, and I might not be able to do ALL the things I want to...

...but I can always loose the weight, "things" are only temporary, and eventually I WILL accomplish and do the most important things I have always set out to do. 

It is demanding being a mother of three under the age of four but it has never been a burden. When the pitter-patter of feet are no longer heard running across the floor in our home and others our age are in retirement homes -my husband and I will be happy and well taken care of by all our children and grandchildren. 

                        

.....STILL haven't gotten a decent photo with all three of them. I try. 

Birth Story of Elijah Niuvakai

It's been just over a month since our third player of team Fonua arrived. Elijah Niuvakai was born April 12, 2014 at 7:20 pm weighing 8 lbs 9 oz and was 20 1/2 in long. That same day around 2 am I woke up and my water had broke. I've never had my water break so it was somewhat surprising and caught me off guard even though I was already two days past my due date. I went and woke Saf up to tell him it was time to go to the hospital. My contractions weren't painful yet so I took a shower and got ready. I walked out of the bathroom all ready to go assuming Saf would be ready too...NOPE. He knocked back out. Seriously?! I annoyingly woke him back up and told him to hurry and pack some clean clothes. Good thing I listened to that feeling I had the day before and finally packed my hospital bag. I called my parents and they came over to watch the boys while we left to the hospital. When we got there my contractions slowed down so they started me on pitocin. My contractions picked up and got painful. (The most annoying thing is when someone tries to talk to you while you're having a contraction. Saf liked to do this every single contraction.) I finally asked for my epidural but the nurse told me I'd have to wait for an hour for the anesthesiologist because she was in the OR. It felt like I was going to DIE if I had to wait that long so the nurse gave me some medicine through my IV that totally relaxed me and made me all dreamy and sleepy. I felt like I was on cloud 9 -literally. I got some good rest after that. Finally I got my epidural and the waiting game began. 

Around 7 pm the nurse finally checked me and nonchalantly told me I was ready to start pushing. She had me do two practice pushes....and I threw up -partly because I was nauseous but mostly because of my nerves. Whether I was ready or not this baby was coming! Then she told me to stop pushing because she didn't want to deliver the baby by herself. She paged the midwife and ran and got Saf who was standing just outside my door talking in the hallway. My mom had just left earlier to go get them some food. I didn't even have time to call her to tell her to RUN or else she was going to miss everything because before I knew it the midwife was in the room and we were ready to go. I pushed once...and Saf assured me that I was already almost there. I pushed again....and baby was out! (Sooooooo much easier and less traumatic than my other two deliveries!) My mom walked in a minute after I had him and was totally bummed she missed it. The midwife put baby straight onto my tummy and I held him for the first time. I actually got to hold him for what felt like 20 minutes before they took him to clean him up a bit and put a diaper on. Finally meeting the lil guy that had been kicking me (hard) in the ribs and on my bladder for the past couple months and holding him felt so surreal! I was able to capture the moment of seeing him open his eyes for the first time. I counted his fingers and toes. I held his little hand and noticed how much smaller it was compared to his two older brothers although he looked just like them when they were born. I was able to soak up and thoroughly live present in those first moments that my son arrived. 

I felt pretty good after the delivery and was able to walk around almost immediately. I felt like superwoman bringing our third son into this world. It's a miracle every time. Despite all the unpleasant aspects of pregnancy, delivery, and after delivery I felt so amazed and loved myself and my body even more because of the miracle that it made. Having another baby just added to my own definition of beauty...and I felt BEAUTIFUL that day. We stayed at the hospital for 24 hours and then we were out of there! (I hate staying at the hospital). Recovery has gone well and I'm already back to working out. I told Saf no more babies until a couple more years. I need a break. Safi boy and Niko LOVE their baby brother and are so good with him. I'm finally starting to get into a rhythm with three kids. I still can't believe I have THREE BOYS! 

Foreboding Joy

Sometimes I have these moments where I'm watching my babies sleep peacefully like little angels, or I'm blissfully laughing away with my husband and feeling so connected to him or we simply just have more than enough food on the table and all the bills paid and then I'll start to feel like everything is going TOO GOOD in my life or that I am TOO BLESSED. And then I get SCARED and I just want to shrink or not allow myself to be "too happy" or "too joyous" because i feel like at any moment something "bad" is going to happen or I'm going to loose someone I love...and I don't want it to hurt as bad so I feel like taking a few steps down from Cloud Nine will lessen my pain or expectations just in case (heaven forbid) something did happen. In other words, I try and beat life's bad events to the punch line by telling myself, "haven, don't let yourself be too happy so it will lessen the heart wrenching blow in case something bad does actually happen". I know, this sounds like THE most ridiculous thing ever...and I thought I was CRAZY and the only one who sometimes thought like this but after reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (life changing book. READ IT!)  I learned this is actually a common "thing" called [ Foreboding Joy ] aka "vulnerability issues". 

(Excerpt from Brene Brown explaining a little more about foreboding joy)

"Calling joy “terrifying” may seem strange, but Dr. Brown explains that the fear stems from having our joy taken away. “How many of you have ever sat up and thought, ‘Wow, work’s going good, good relationship with my partner, parents seem to be doing okay. Holy crap. Something bad’s going to happen'?”...“You know what that is? [It’s] when we lose our tolerance for vulnerability. Joy becomes foreboding: 'I’m scared it’s going to be taken away."

I've always recognized that foreboding joy was something I struggled with. But in the past I would allow myself to remain in that state and NOT allow myself to be as happy. But now when I catch myself doing it (or thinking that way), instead of hanging out in that poisonous mind space I consciously tell myself to "relish in the moment...let your guard down...be happy...be joyous...love completely...be GRATEFUL...and make THE MOST out of this moment so if something "bad" does happen I will have absolutely no regrets because [ I LIVED PRESENTLY & LOVED COMPLETELY ]". I've been seeing too many tragic posts on Facebook lately that have been yet another reminder that life is too short and no one is promised tomorrow. 

I love my life. I have chosen happiness and will always continue to choose happiness. Life is so beautiful if you just let it be. So LEAN HARD into every. single. moment. of. JOY.

(My greatest joys and happiness)

Random disclaimer: I usually write these posts late at night after the kids have gone to bed so I know there's probably lots of punctuational errors due to exhaustion. Although some errors I purposefully make because this blog is more of a creative outlet of babbling thoughts -not an English paper. So sorry, NOT SORRY if I am not always grammatically correct when writing but I hope you get the point of it.