{ 30 things }

i'm changing things up this month.

i'll be posting something random about myself each day of June. mainly, it's just a 'lil something [ personally recorded ] for my kids to read about in the future. i got the idea from this cute blog.

so stay tuned and enjoy! 



{ feeling better }

this past month i've been sick and feeling so out of it. on friday i finally started feeling like myself again and feeling like i could actually do something besides lay on the couch with a throw up bowl.

i woke up friday with some energy and burned some of it off with a good workout. i had this hanging upin my view...

...as my motivation. bwahahahahahahahahahahah!!! don't know why i'm laughing...probablly because the bikini thing is going to have to wait until next summer. but hey, what ever keeps me motivated, right?

i thought i deserved some [ cheap ] retail thereapy so I stopped by the Goodwill and found a cute jean jacket that i've been looking for and some summer sandals...

...for only $13 all together! love it when i find good deals!

and it wouldn't be [ me ] without some spontaneous creativity...

(love me some henna)

now to play catch up...

mothers day was different this year. both our our mothers we're out of town so we spent it here at home. i was looking forward to a delicious, home-cooked meal that i didn't have to cook. so i asked my husband, "what are we having for dinner?" he said, "baby just tell me whateeeever you want.....and i'll go buy it." eh. only him. lol not really want i expected. this guy needs a little more training.

but being the mama of this crazy, sweet boy was really what my day was all about!

2 weeks ago i hit the [ 2 4 ] mark. my boys took me out to breakfast then my 'lil man and i went to Disneyland. (yes. we do go ALL the time but it NEVER gets old)

later that night my boys took me to Farrell's. wow that place is crazy! go there on your birhtday and you'll know what i mean. lol



(sorry, didn't really get too many pics from there)

last monday was our first stop at the beach this summer...

...and it was lovely. this is going to be our playground for the next couple months.



{ mommy confessions }

-sometimes i let my son drink diet coke. one night he was crying to drink some of mine. i was too tired to deal with him so i filled his sippy cup with some. hey, at least i diluted it with water.

-my son doesn't really have a bedtime. i like him to go to sleep at night when i do because i'd rather him not wake up in the morning before i do or before i can get some things done around the house with out him...which means he goes to bed pretty late sometimes.

-i didn't even cry when he was born (like i imaged i would). not because i loved him any less, but i was just TOO EXHAUSTED from pushing out an almost 10 lber that i didn't even have enough energy to shed one tear.

-i actually like that he sleeps right next to me every night in my bed.

-i always feel a bit of guiltiness everytime i do something for 'just myself'.

-i let him go barefoot all the time and it doesnt bother me if he picks up a piece of food off the ground and eats it...as long as its not a cigarete, old gum, or rocks. a 'lil dirt wont hurt...right? lol

-when i go to go to the grocery store or laundry mat alone...it feels like a mini vacation.

-i hid my son's Buzz Lightyear action figure for a couple days because I couldn't stand hearing him scream and cry, like someone had died (yes, it was that serious!) every time his 'position' was slighly altered (he likes him standing a certain way with his hands perfectly on his hips, wings expanded, and feet/legs perfectly straight so he can balance correctly and stand on the table by himself)

-actually, i have another confession to add to the last one...Buzz's couple days of solitary confinement wasn't enough for me so I let him 'sleepover' at Gigi's house (where he is still sleeping)

-when i feel like i'm starting to loose it or go a little crazy, i put myself on time-out (for the safety of others).

-i've let my son eat nothing but cake for breakfast.......a couple times.

-by the time our 2nd one comes along, there's going to be an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny feeling of saddness because my son will no longer be my only and we won't get that same one-on-one time. (but of course i'll be far happier with another addition because that means two sidekicks and more cheap child labor.....lol just kiiiiiiiidding.)

-for keepsakes, i saved a part of my son's umbilical cord when it fell off his tummy a couple weeks after he was born. (i dont really think this is a confession but my husband thinks i'm sick/gross for doing this and acts like it should be one.)

-when my son is playing on the playground and an older kid starts teasing him, my son will show them a 'lil fist action (even though he's younger and smaller. NO FEAR!) Verbally, I'll put on a show and tell him to stop because "that's not nice" (just so their parents will stop throwing a hissy fit) but inside I'm jumping up and down, fist pumping, shouting "YEAH BABY! GET 'UM! DON'T LET THAT KID PUNK YOU!"

that was a few more confessions than i expected....and there's probably still a lot more. lol

i may not be a perfect mommy...

 but i'm real.

i say sorry when i'm wrong.

i take the time to stay close to my son, teach him, and to know him -his likes, dislikes, what makes him happy or sad, and to make sure he knows i care.

i [ show ] him i love him and [ tell ] him about a hundred times a day.

i may not be the best at...a lot of things, but i know i'm a pretty dang good mommy and the [ best ] one for my son!

we're cool ;)

{ Staying close }

every night before my son goes to bed it became our little [ tradition ] that we lay there together and talk about everything that happened that day or the things we did. it's fun to hear him ramble in his own little language. sometimes i can understand him....but most of the time i can't. but the most important thing is that we [ talk ]. i figured if i want to [ stay close ] with him in the future when he's grown and thinks he knows it all, we're never going to talk about the BIG stuff, if we don't ever even talk about the small stuff.

{ bitter-sweet }

 my cousins and i all grew up together. every summer we swam in grama's pool from sunrise til sunset...or later. we would line up around the edges inside the jacuzzi and chant "WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD!" and wait for grama to to bring us out some lunch or dinner. we would parade down Bushard making our way to the beach with our prosession of beach cruisers trailering our surf boards and bikes behind Dalton's bike. we went to school together. we went to church together. we did everything together. 

none of us ever really had to make too many friends because our cousins were our best friends.

two weekends ago we sadly lost one of our best friends, Aramis.

Aramis always had the sweetest spirit and was always happy.

he had the gift of being able to meet a person for the first time and make them feel like they had known each other forever. he was grampa's favorite...and everyone knew it! i remember when Aramis was younger (and he lived with our grandparents) grampa got him matching slippers. everynight before they'd go to bed they'd take off their slippers at the bedside and grampa would slip Aramis's slippers inside his and place them neatly next to the bed. whenever my son and i would stop by grama's house he'd always come give us both a hug and say hi. i'm going to miss those.

 it was a  [ bitter ] occasion for all the fam and cousins to gather for but [ sweet ] to be reunited once again. 

 it felt like old times. 

everyone was at grama's. swimming together. eating together. staying up late every night. late night Del Taco runs. telling stories for days. laughing together.

due to certain circumstances, it was decided by our parents that that the younger generation ( Aramis's siblings and all of us cousins) were to put together the program for Aramis's funeral. so we all sat together in grama's living room and put pictures together, made a slideshow, decided what hymns were to be sung, who was going to give the opening and closing prayer, which siblings/cousins were going to speak, and any other musical numbers.

Aramis's funeral turned out beautiful. those of his siblings and cousins who spoke did a great job and spoke of the simple truths of the Gospel, the Plan of Salvation, and the Atonement. his service was finished with a closing hymn "How Great Thou Art" (1st verse in English, 2nd Maori, and 3rd Tongan) sung by all of us cousins. the Spirit was definitely present in the room that day.

following the funeral service everyone walked out of the church building onto the front lawn where these stickers my Uncle Troy had made were passed out to all (members and non-members)...

...signifying the love of our family to yours and that "Families are Forever".

everyone also received a white balloon in remembrance of Aramis...

...after my uncle's direction we all let go at the same time.

quick pic of all of us cousins afterwards...still missing some though.

Heavenly Father really shows us how [ strong ] we are through our most difficult trials when we realize we can do something we thought we never could.

and through these great trials our testimony of the gospel is [ strengthened ] and our family bond becomes   [ undefeated ].

i'm grateful for my family. 

they're my [ heaven here on earth ] and i couldn't image [ eternity ] with anyone of them missing from it.

we're going to miss you Aramis.

...'til we meet again.

"whanau mo ake tonu"