Thursday, October 31, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
basically she talks about [ vulnerability ] and [ shame ] and how vulnerability is not weakness, but actually the most accurate measurement of our courage. she shared this quote by Theodore Roosevelt,
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
This quote has definitely gone down in my books as one of my faves!
After hearing this talk I had to step back and examine the things in my life that I’m afraid to try, do, or say for fear of being vulnerable to the critics of others, or even myself. To be honest, even this silly blog is something I feel vulnerable about! I just like to write because it's therapeutic to me. No one really even knows i have it and it makes me cringe if i knew that everyone read it because I can be so sensitive of what others might think of my thoughts, ideas, or story.
I realized that certain dreams and goals I have for myself have been held back for fear of failing.
I am so scared of failing! I can sit there and tell myself endless reason of ‘why it won’t work’ instead of all the reasons ‘why it will’. I will continually doubt myself, belittle my ambitions, and give into my fears because it feels so much safer and comfortable if I do. But I finally realized I'm doing no one, including myself, any favors by [ playing small ]. What's living if I don't even try? There is no personal growth or accomplishment in my safety zone. And if I do try and FAIL (maybe even miserably) what's the shame in that because at least I put myself out there and tried, right?
Speaking of shame, I also had to address the issues of why I feel shame. Shame is an epidemic in our culture! We all have felt or are feeling some type of shame for whatever reason. For women, it really is, “a web of unattainable conflicting expectations of who we should be.” It was a personal epiphany to realize that some of my deepest pains were rooted from shame. I am now slowly but surely starting to unpack all the shame in my life and it feels pretty. Damn. Good! Life is so much easier and lighter when we choose not to carry the burden of shame. I feel free! Free of what others have done to me, free of past poor decisions, free of what others have said or think of me, and free of unattainable expectations. Even certain relationships with others in my life that have been hindered because of shame have already begun to flourish as I have let go of it! I REFUSE TO ALLOW SHAME TO RULE MY LIFE!
Allowing my myself to be vulnerable and changing my personal definition of it to something that I know I will grow and strengthen from has become a daily practice in my life. I am still not perfect at it but am slowly seeing the fruits of my personal vulnerability as I have started to put myself out there and really DO the things that I fear. Life really is beautiful and while I am here I choose to live a full, vibrant life while daring greatly!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
my new resolve within myself is if i ever become hurt, offended, annoyed, or angry towards someone i will either confront that person who i am holding negative feelings towards about the issue (instead of "venting" to sally, mary, or john because in reality none of them will ever be able to fix the problem with susie). Or if I do not wish to confront them about whatever it may be to try and fix the situation, then I must simply [ forgive them ].
i never noticed how negative of a person I was until i really made a conscious effort to listen and be aware of my every thought through out my day. i realized that if i dwelt on one bad thought during my day there was a snowball effect of infinite more negative thoughts and then before i knew it i was singing in my head,
"it's just one of those days....that a girl goes through...when i'm angry inside...i juuuust wanna be all alone..."
Negative thoughts can be so self-sabotaging! i now firmly believe that thoughts are self-fulfilling. it finally hit me that if thoughts are self-fulfilling why not use that same energy towards positive thinking instead?
In my notes on my phone i wrote down a list of positive affirmations. Some of the affirmations i wrote down are things i want to become while others are affirmations to counteract certain false beliefs i've held within myself.
basically how this works is i write down the affirmations that i want to become a reality.
every night right before i go to sleep -I READ THEM.
every morning before i get out of bed -I READ THEM.
right before i know i am about to do something out of my comfort zone -I READ THEM.
if my day is starting to go south -I READ THEM.
if i want to feel great and inspired -I READ THEM.
but it's more than just reading each affirmation. each one i read i focus and try to feel that affirmation as if it is already true. basically, [ i fake it until i make it ]. i tell myself I AM whatever the affirmation is until that affirmation is a reality. i know this sounds like a bunch of hippie or vudu ish but it works! my entire out look on life has changed and amazing things are happening in my life that never could have happened before because my negative thoughts and beliefs stood in the way. i am breaking down those barriers and building something great!
if you don't believe me try it.
i dare you!
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
“Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy.”
i realized my husband is everything on that list [ and more ] and it was a great reminder to 'not sweat the small stuff'. he's not perfect...we're not perfect...but we work well with each other, we appreciate one another's strengths, we forgive each others weaknesses, and we [ truly love ] the other. it seems more and more these days i hear or see people marrying for the wrong reason, spouses not being completely loyal, or marriages falling apart -even temple marriages. this is a quote i'll definitely be sharing with my future daughters because i believe who we marry determines much of our happiness. anyways, there's my two-cents for the day. time to get back to my boys. my little Niko just woke up from his nap.
happy with what i have.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Being happy is a choice.
Good, positive thoughts will shift your life into something amazing!
My love languages are 'words of affirmation' and 'quality time' (I'm bilingual).
But learn to speak all the love languages.
I have a great, unique heritage.
The best place to live is in the 'present moment'.
Once you grow up your siblings really are your true, best friends.
I hate 'secrets'. So much shame grows from them and they only take you backwards -not forward.
Stay positive. Always.
The best way to learn is through experience.
Don't be afraid to be a "beginner".
Honestly is the best policy and will always get you further.
Everyone just wants to feel validated.
What others think of you is none of your business.
When you have an attitude of gratitude, you will always have enough.
The less I feel I need, the happier I am.
Building strong, lasting, true relationships with others makes me feel fulfilled.
Life is so much easier when you become your own best friend.
Forgive and FORGET.
Laugh a lot.
Some things are better said than not said.
Sometimes that person we need to forgive is ourself.
Don't look back. Keep moving forward.
Family is always worth the sacrifice.
My biggest regrets have been when I failed to act quickly.
Marrying my husband was the hardest yet BEST decision I ever made.
You are always the master of your emotions.
Don't have a wishbone where your back bone ought to be.
Fear and faith cannot coexist.
Forgiveness will set you free.
There are no such thing as a coincident.
You cannot compare your weakness to someone else's strength.
Keep things simple.
The dirty house is not going anywhere -take the time to have fun with the kids. They grow up too fast!
Don't get offended so easily. You give away your power by doing so.
The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true.
Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer.
Looking back, Heavenly Father has always been there for me and pulled me through every struggle, even when I lacked faith-He will never forsake me.
I'm likening this feel of "25". I feel wiser. I'm happy. I feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel blessed for the experiences I have had thus far. I feel like I've come a long way. I am optimistic about my future. There is so much good ahead of me.
The best is yet to come so COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
I really don't want my angel boy to grow up but then again...I really don't want to be buying the mother load box of diapers from Costco any longer than I have to.
Friday, April 19, 2013
you're more [ beautiful ] than you think.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Anyways, between taking care of the kids and cooking (and sleeping) here's a couple thoughts/notes I had that stood out to me this conference:
-as mother/wife, I set the tone in our home
-make CHRIST the center of our home and a refuge from the world
-simple, consistent habits lead to full and bountiful blessings
-stay on the Lord's side and I will "win" every time
-too much wasted time on phone/Internet-->set time aside each day to connect with my boys
-more faithful & OBEDIENT-->I will receive power added into every aspect of my life
-be a TRUE FRIEND
-recognize the GOOD in others
-always speak to my son to uplift him
-marriage is a gift from God to us-->the quality of our marriage is our gift to God
-even if my child/husband make a mistake, make sure they still feel my confidence and love for them
I always love hearing from the leaders of our church. I still have much to work on and personal weaknesses to overcome but I feel renewed and am [ motivated to DO better and BE better ]. I am PROUD to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Say Saints.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Wow, I really just made my life sound miserable. It's really not. Today has just been one of "those days". I just realized I could (and need) to do a lot better in [ enjoying ] everything, including the little things, and not just [ enduring ] day to day life.
So my new goal is to put a little more [ umph ] into each day and add an extra dose of [ passion ] into everything I do....because "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." (Pres. Hinckley)
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
My head already hurts just thinking about all of that. All i really want to do is lay in bed with my boys, go back to sleep, and wake up on Monday in our new place. Hey, if there's anyone out there trying to loose weight...this is an effective method. i already lost 3 lbs this week just from stress! (really though, running is a lot easier) Instead of taking the time to blog, I probably could have already packed 3 more boxes. But there's no time to complain to my husband about how burnt out I feel because we both have our own weight to pull to make this all work...so blogging about it shall suffice.
In all honesty though, our lives' our crazy. Our schedules are even crazier. But if I slow down just a little bit, I always recognize our blessings and the Lord's hand in everything. Things are busy, but it's a good busy. Things are moving up for our little family and we're continually progressing.
I'm just going to take these next few days a day at a time and live in the moment. If anything,I just want Sunday to be a beautiful day for us and my sweet angel, Niko.