Overcoming my roadblocks

To ever be successful at something, I believe two of the roadblocks you have to over come are:

-fear of failing

-fear of what others might think

I truly believe that amazing things will start to blossom in your life when you overcome these two things!

I finally stopped listening to my sorry excuses and all the reasons "why I shouldn't" and made a new Instagram account to help keep me motivated with eating clean and eventually loosing the baby weight. Yesterday I posted on my personal insta account about this new project I started for those of my family and friends who might be interested. After I had posted about it I thought to myself, "OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT. DID. I. JUST. DO?!" I felt so vulnerable to the opinions and critiques of my peers and thoughts of potential failure ran through my mind. I had a mini panick attack! Lol. Good news -I'm feeling much better this morning. I reminded mysellf that I'm doing this for me and for those who are interested. Any haters can just kiss my arse! Lol anyways, I'm excited to see what my future holds. 

Follow me @thehavenlydose if you're interested in jumping on the healthy bandwagon too!

                          

My Little Masters of Change

                       

I just love these little boys to death! This was them last night at Rancho ward's trunk-or-treat . Anyways, on a totally different note...being a mother I'm constantly thinking of all the many different things I want to teach and impress upon my kids as they grow up so that they will eventually grow into functional, good, happy members of society. One of the things I was thinking about this past week was bullying. While growing up at one point or another my husband and I had both been bullied. (I'm sure it's something that everyone has unpleasantly experienced.) It would be so heartbreaking to ever hear about any of my kids getting bullied and even more horrifying if I ever found out they were a bully. I've often thought about how I would deal with it if my kids found themselves in either position (and obviously we would assume our kids would or could never be "that" kid, "the bully", but we don't live in a perfect world and our kids aren't perfect.) The wearing of pink shirts and passing of anti-bullying bylaws have been in recent news. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the anti-bullying movement but is that really enough? There is no way we will ever completely eliminate bullying just like this world will never completely have world peace (in this life at least) -simply due to the fact that there is opposition in all things. As my kids grow up and eventually go through school and come in contact with many more different people and build new relationships, they WILL in some way become hurt by others intentionally. As they learn and grow I want to teach and help them to have great inner confidence that no insecure bully can break and also how to cope/deal with "mean" people instead of "playing victim." For me, it's crucial that my kids know and understand how to be MASTERS OF CHANGE for them selves and for society, rather than play victim. I won't always physically be by their side 24/7 but my husband and I can help them gain the ability to stand up for themselves. And of course, we will teach them to be kind, charitable, tolerant individuals to hopefully insure that they will never be found on the "bully side". Parenting isn't easy but this issue is one of the many things I hope to be found successful in as I continue to teach my kids each day.

Simple day

Before this day ends I just wanted to write a quick post. Nothing amazing or spectacular happened today but I just want the simplicity of it to be remembered.

I woke up this morning next to my Safi boy. He was still dreaming away and it was early in the morning so I decided to do some personal goal setting. Then I did some scripture reading. Not too long after that Niko woke up so I went and picked him up from his crib, layed him down in my bed, and gave him a bottle while I relaxed next to him. It felt nice to wake up in the morning and not be rushed or having any other responsibilities that I had to get ready for right away. I sent my husband a quick text thanking him for always working so hard for us, especially so I could stay home full time to raise our kids. One thing my husband is NOT is lazy. He always works hard in everything he does and does a thorough job of it. I'm grateful for that. To be honest, some days I do wish I had a career and worked outside the home but today I was just grateful to be exactly where I was at with my two boys. Right after I texted him he called me. He calls me every morning when he gets off with a bright, vibrant, "Hey baby!" or "Good morning Beautiful!" He told me he was on his way home and to send Safi boy outside to the front when he pulled up so he could take him to get donuts (since yesterday Safi boy asked him to take him to get a donut "at the store with a circle on it") Safi boy had just woken up so I told him to get his silipa on because daddy was coming to pick him up. Saf pulled up not long after that and I sent Safi boy out the front door and watched him run to his daddy at the car. It was cute seeing how excited he was to go. They drove off and I sat on the couch feeling grateful that my kids have such a great, loving father. When they got home they enjoyed their donuts on the kitchen table. Of course Saf got my favorite donut, custard-filled, and was trying to convince me to eat it (even after I told him no because I was trying to eat healthy). I indulged myself with a bite...or two. After donuts, Saf went and took a shower and then after came and layed down with Safiboy and I in bed. He told me about work the night before, we laughed at stupid things, and he held me. I always love when he comes home from work at just holds me and kisses my cheek. I feel safe...happy...loved. Niko woke up from his first nap so I brought him in our room to say hi to his daddy. 

Saf then knocked out for the day and Safi boy and I left him in peace. I grabbed some construction paper and Safi boy and I made some jack-o-lanterns while listening to the Disney channel on pandora. He was more into listening to the different Disney songs and figuring out what movie each of them were from than doing crafts. Niko sat in his high chair next to us and watched while he ate strawberries. After we made our jack-o-lanterns we taped them to the family room wall. Before I knew it it was already time for Niko to go down for his second nap so I took him to his crib. For some reason today I was just extra, extra tired (this baby inside me sure is making my body work). I sat on the couch and caught up on some of my shows while Safi boy played on his iPad. Of course I knocked out and caught some sleep while Niko was napping. Sleep feels so goooood these days! When I woke up Saf was up and hungry. We had no food so saimini it was. Yeah, the struggle is real right now. After we ate we walked the kids to the park and Saf watched them while I got a quick workout in over in the soccer field. After I was done with my workout I walked back to my boys and Niko cried for me to carry him. Right now I think it's cute he's such a mama's boy. 

We walked back home and had saimini again for dinner. Saf and I laughed about having this twice in one day. It's been a while since we've had to resort to saimini. We didn't have much but we somehow managed and were still happy. After dinner I put the boys in the bath together. I tried taking a cute, photogenic picture of them but Safiboy wasn't having it. It made me happy seeing them playing together. Niko loves the water. It's one of his newest favorite discoveries so I sat next to the tub and let them both play for about 30 minutes. I took them out and got them both ready for bed. They both knocked out early tonight. It was great! I got a little extra me time. It was finally time for Saf to get back to work again. He was in the room catching a few more hours of sleep when I had to wake him up. He layed on the bed tired while I put on his work socks, like I always do every night. I don't even know how that one got started?? He got dressed and kissed me goodbye at the front door while he walked out.  I love that man. Since the boys were asleep I finished painting a large picture frame. I then checked on Niko like I always do and am now finally calling it a night.

I really don't know what it was about today. I just had such a great feeling of calmness and gratitude while living in the moment. I didn't worry about the things I had to get done or what's going to happen tomorrow, next month, or next year. I simply enjoyed every moment and enjoyed all the simple things life has tooffer. Right now we really don't have a lot, but we are really, truly happy.

5 years down and an eternity to go

Two weeks ago we celebrate our 5 year anniversary. The week of our anni my brother hooked us up with a beach front hotel down in Huntington Beach. It was a nice little getaway not too far from home. Anyways 2 kids, one miscarriage, one on the way, 1 move, a job promotion, lots of school, many trials and many more happy times later...I've realized how much we've grown as individuals and as a couple. Things aren't always perfecet...we're not perfect but since being married we've helped each other grow and improve for the better. We are "better" because we have each other and as long as we keep "becoming better" together that's all that matters. Not that we're pros at this marriage thing but it take more than an upgraded wedding ring to keep things going strong. Here's a couple pieces of advice that have worked for us:

-stay close to Heavenly Father and the gospel as individuals and you will stay closer as a couple

-forgive and forget (as in don't ever bring it up again)

-love your in laws like your own family

-let the other feel they can be vulnerable with you with out being criticized

-know your spouses "love language" and SPEAK IT! (I know I've mentioned this before on my blog but we swear by it because it works wonders!)

-ENDORSE what you love about the other instead of BASHING what you hate

-do things that keep you falling in love over and over again (we might not be perfect but our marriage is anything but boring)

I'm grateful for my husband. I'm grateful for who I am and who I am becoming because of his love and support. I will always be eternally grateful for the day that I was sealed to him for time and all eternity. I can't wait to see where the rest of life takes us....because the BEST IS YET TO COME. 

(The morning of I surprised Saf and did a mini paint job on the car before we started our day)

Stay at home life

...where we graze on fishy crackers all day, lay in bed, and flip around from show to show on Netflix. Ok so not every day is as glamorous as this (joking) but we've been having a lot of these lately. 

Número tres

                                     

Yes, [ número tres ] is already on its way and my baby is already about to be a big brother! This was totally unplanned and a bit of a surprise. Honestly, I wasn't too excited when I first found out. I cried. I felt overwhelmed because...well, I feel like I just had a baby. But reality has slowly set in and after looking at the bigger picture, I am excited! It will be fun watching this little one and Niko grow up together so close in age (they'll be just over a year apart). Of course my husband was excited from the moment we found out. If he had it his way all our kids would be 10 months apart. I guess I have always wanted our kids close in age anyways and I might as when knock them all out while I'm still young. I'm 7 weeks down and tentative due date is April 9, 2014. Big things ahead for our little family...

Daring Greatly

i somehow came across this TED talk given by Brene Brown, a therapist, and it [ changed my life! ]. (watch -HERE- if you're interested in knowing what i'm talking about.)

basically she talks about [ vulnerability ] and [ shame ] and how vulnerability is not weakness, but actually the most accurate measurement of our courage. she shared this quote by Theodore Roosevelt,

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

 This quote has definitely gone down in my books as one of my faves!

After hearing this talk I had to step back and examine the things in my life that I’m afraid to try, do, or say for fear of being vulnerable to the critics of others, or even myself. To be honest, even this silly blog is something I feel vulnerable about! I just like to write because it's therapeutic to me. No one really even knows i have it and it makes me cringe if i knew that everyone read it because I can be so sensitive of what others might think of my thoughts, ideas, or story. 

I realized that certain dreams and goals I have for myself have been held back for fear of failing.

I am so scared of failing! I can sit there and tell myself endless reason of ‘why it won’t work’ instead of all the reasons ‘why it will’. I will continually doubt myself, belittle my ambitions, and give into my fears because it feels so much safer and comfortable if I do. But I finally realized I'm doing no one, including myself, any favors by [ playing small ]. What's living if I don't even try? There is no personal growth or accomplishment in my safety zone. And if I do try and FAIL (maybe even miserably) what's the shame in that because at least I put myself out there and tried, right?

Speaking of shame, I also had to address the issues of why I feel shame. Shame is an epidemic in our culture! We all have felt or are feeling some type of shame for whatever reason. For women, it really is, “a web of unattainable conflicting expectations of who we should be.” It was a personal epiphany to realize that some of my deepest pains were rooted from shame. I am now slowly but surely starting to unpack all the shame in my life and it feels pretty. Damn. Good! Life is so much easier and lighter when we choose not to carry the burden of shame. I feel free! Free of what others have done to me, free of past poor decisions, free of what others have said or think of me, and free of unattainable expectations. Even certain relationships with others in my life that have been hindered because of shame have already begun to flourish as I have let go of it! I REFUSE TO ALLOW SHAME TO RULE MY LIFE! 

Allowing my myself to be vulnerable and changing my personal definition of it to something that I know I will grow and strengthen from has become a daily practice in my life. I am still not perfect at it but am slowly seeing the fruits of my personal vulnerability as I have started to put myself out there and really DO the things that I fear. Life really is beautiful and while I am here I choose to live a full, vibrant life while daring greatly!

new goal for a happier me

it seems now that i have started to changed the way i think i have all these new things happening in my life. but new things often mean change and change is good.

my new resolve within myself is if i ever become hurt, offended, annoyed, or angry towards someone i will either confront that person who i am holding negative feelings towards about the issue (instead of "venting" to sally, mary, or john because in reality none of them will ever be able to fix the problem with susie). Or if I do not wish to confront them about whatever it may be to try and fix the situation, then I must simply [ forgive them ]. 

It's as simple as that. No more holding grudges over here, honey!

my new secret

recently, i've been on this 'personal awakening' of the power of positive thinking and visualization. i started a new personal tradition with myself of [ daily affirmations ].

i never noticed how negative of a person I was until i really made a conscious effort to listen and be aware of my every thought through out my day. i realized that if i dwelt on one bad thought during my day there was a snowball effect of infinite more negative thoughts and then before i knew it i was singing in my head,
"it's just one of those days....that a girl goes through...when i'm angry inside...i juuuust wanna be all alone..."
Negative thoughts can be so self-sabotaging! i now firmly believe that thoughts are self-fulfilling. it finally hit me that if thoughts are self-fulfilling why not use that same energy towards positive thinking instead?

In my notes on my phone i wrote down a list of positive affirmations. Some of the affirmations i wrote down are things i want to become while others are affirmations to counteract certain false beliefs i've held within myself.

As i monitored my own thoughts through out my day i noticed i had certain reoccurring negative thoughts. i took those same reoccurring negative thoughts and turned them into positive affirmations.

basically how this works is i write down the affirmations that i want to become a reality. 
every night right before i go to sleep -I READ THEM.
every morning before i get out of bed -I READ THEM.
right before i know i am about to do something out of my comfort zone -I READ THEM.
if my day is starting to go south -I READ THEM.
if i want to feel great and inspired -I READ THEM.


but it's more than just reading each affirmation. each one i read i focus and try to feel that affirmation as if it is already true. basically, [ i fake it until i make it ]. i tell myself I AM whatever the affirmation is until that affirmation is a reality. i know this sounds like a bunch of hippie or vudu ish but it works! my entire out look on life has changed and amazing things are happening in my life that never could have happened before because my negative thoughts and beliefs stood in the way. i am breaking down those barriers and building something great!

if you don't believe me try it.
i dare you!

immensely happy

i came across this quote today:

“Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy.” 

 i realized my husband is everything on that list [ and more ] and it was a great reminder to 'not sweat the small stuff'. he's not perfect...we're not perfect...but we work well with each other, we appreciate one another's strengths, we forgive each others weaknesses, and we [ truly love ] the other. it seems more and more these days i hear or see people marrying for the wrong reason, spouses not being completely loyal, or marriages falling apart -even temple marriages. this is a quote i'll definitely be sharing with my future daughters because i believe who we marry determines much of our happiness. anyways, there's my two-cents for the day. time to get back to my boys. my little Niko just woke up from his nap.

 happy with what i have.

 

What I know for sure...

Last week I turned 25. In the quarter of a century that I've been alive, here's [ what I know for sure ]...

Being happy is a choice.
Good, positive thoughts will shift your life into something amazing!
My love languages are 'words of affirmation' and 'quality time' (I'm bilingual).
But learn to speak all the love languages.
I have a great, unique heritage.
The best place to live is in the 'present moment'.
Once you grow up your siblings really are your true, best friends.
I hate 'secrets'. So much shame grows from them and they only take you backwards -not forward.
Stay positive. Always.
The best way to learn is through experience.
Don't be afraid to be a "beginner".
Honestly is the best policy and will always get you further.
Everyone just wants to feel validated.
What others think of you is none of your business.
When you have an attitude of gratitude, you will always have enough.
The less I feel I need, the happier I am.
Building strong, lasting, true relationships with others makes me feel fulfilled.
Life is so much easier when you become your own best friend.
Forgive and FORGET.
Laugh a lot.
Some things are better said than not said.
Sometimes that person we need to forgive is ourself.
Don't look back. Keep moving forward.
Family is always worth the sacrifice.
My biggest regrets have been when I failed to act quickly.
Marrying my husband was the hardest yet BEST decision I ever made.
You are always the master of your emotions.
Don't have a wishbone where your back bone ought to be.
Fear and faith cannot coexist.
Forgiveness will set you free.
There are no such thing as a coincident.
You cannot compare your weakness to someone else's strength.
Keep things simple.
The dirty house is not going anywhere -take the time to have fun with the kids. They grow up too fast!
Don't get offended so easily. You give away your power by doing so.
The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true.
Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer.
Looking back, Heavenly Father has always been there for me and pulled me through every struggle, even when I lacked faith-He will never forsake me.


I'm likening this feel of "25". I feel wiser. I'm happy. I feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel blessed for the experiences I have had thus far. I feel like I've come a long way. I am optimistic about my future. There is so much good ahead of me.

The best is yet to come so COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT.

Babe, baby, & the baby

I tried doing a cute birthday shout out with my boys for their aunty's birthday. I got the idea from Pinterest and wanted it to look something like this...

FAIL. 

Safi boy was laughing when i was writing on the bottom of his foot with the marker, Niko was too squirmy so I couldn't even write 'aunty' on his foot, then safi boy was mad because Niko was scratching him (his face says it all), Niko was sliding down, safi boy was moving his feet so you couldn't read the words, the angle was off, and I was getting hot. Talk about trying to DO THE MOST. They make everything on pinterest look so easy! Oh well. At least safi boy was entertained for the rest of the day with looking at the blue writing on the bottom of his feet and saying, "HAPPY BIRFDAY!" (I thought the marker I used was washable. Nope. Another 'parental fail'. I seem to be having a lot of those these days.)

Anyways, I love my boys. They keep my life entertained and busy. On a side note -we still find ourselves calling safi boy "baby"even though he's not the baby anymore. We always said that once the second one came along, we wouldn't be able to call him "baby" ...but that didn't happen. On rare occasion we'll refer to niko as "the baby" (as in "can you go get the baby?") but never do we talk directly to him and call him "baby". So now I have a "babe", "baby", and "the baby". I know that might sound confusing but we all somehow just know who is talking to who. Hey, it works for us. I wonder what original name we'll come up with for child #3?

Niko's newborn photos

i was gong to send out newborn announcements for Niko but i ended up being too busy and never got around to it. now i feel like it's too late to do them so i guess i'll just post a few of the pics that my talented sister-in-law took on here...

Parental Fail

I can't believe how fast my baby Niko is growing! You think your first child grows fast but just wait until you have #2...they grow even faster because your twice as busy! I was in such denial that when I went to Costco and bought a HUGE box of diapers size 1-2 (thinking he was still a 2) I came home and put the first one on him only to find out they were too small! FAIL! Well....anyone need 230 diapers size 1-2? Back to Costco I go for size 3...

I really don't want my angel boy to grow up but then again...I really don't want to be buying the mother load box of diapers from Costco any longer than I have to.

beauty sketch

i came across this video today...

 ...and it reminded me of an experience i just had. last saturday my little sister was going through the temple for the first time. beforehand, as i was getting ready to go to the temple i scrambled around trying to find something to wear. my clothes didn't fit right (due to the stubborn baby weight i gained), my face felt super round and chubby, and my hair felt dried out and nappy. i was having a [ moment ]. i felt ...discouraged... and somewhat frustrated. it's not that i don't feel i'm beautiful (and i mean that in the most self-loving-non-conceited way)...i just don't feel like i have the same confidence as i did pre-pregnancy. anyways, so i pulled my hair back into a quick side-bun and threw on a long skirt with a loose sweater and was out the door. once i got to the temple, i walked past a group of temple workers as i walked through the women's locker room to change. before i walked into the endownment session one of the workers, who seemed to be around the same age as me, approached me and said, "i saw you when you walked in and i just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful and stunning!" i was kind of taken aback and didn't know what to say for a second and then replied with an awkward, "thank you." honestly, her kind compliment was a bit of an ego boost. i thought to myself, "what was i stressing about earlier? i'm not sure what she saw but maybe i'm not looking as awful today as i thought i was." after that i told myself i wouldn't be so hard on myself.

anyways, i loved this video.

 what we see ourselves as isn't always what others sees. 
you're more [ beautiful ] than you think.

Motivated to DO better & BE better

I'm enjoying this beautiful general conference sunday with this cutie. I didn't realize how much I missed having a baby in our home. They change and grow so fast everyday! This 'lil guy just brightens up my entire day every time I see him smile.

Anyways, between taking care of the kids and cooking (and sleeping) here's a couple thoughts/notes I had that stood out to me this conference:

-as mother/wife, I set the tone in our home
-make CHRIST the center of our home and a refuge from the world
-simple, consistent habits lead to full and bountiful blessings
-stay on the Lord's side and I will "win" every time
-too much wasted time on phone/Internet-->set time aside each day to connect with my boys
-more faithful & OBEDIENT-->I will receive power added into every aspect of my life
-be a TRUE FRIEND
-recognize the GOOD in others
-always speak to my son to uplift him
-marriage is a gift from God to us-->the quality of our marriage is our gift to God
-even if my child/husband make a mistake, make sure they still feel my confidence and love for them

I always love hearing from the leaders of our church. I still have much to work on and personal weaknesses to overcome but I feel renewed and am [ motivated to DO better and BE better ]. I am PROUD to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Say Saints.

Just to get by...

Lately, I've been feeling so burnt out! Since having two kids my days have somehow become shorter. I'm making breakfast and before i know it's time to get the kids ready for bed. Honestly, some days i feel like my biggest accomplishment is making it through the day without anyone dying! Sometimes it feels like I'm living "just to get by" until that next pay check comes...or until I can just get both the kids to sleep (at the same time)...or letting my son watch Netflix (literally) all day so I can get more done or so I can just chill out like a vegetable and think about absolutely nothing while all his favorite shows lull him into a passive state...

Wow, I really just made my life sound miserable. It's really not. Today has just been one of "those days". I just realized I could (and need) to do a lot better in [ enjoying ] everything, including the little things, and not just [ enduring ] day to day life.

So my new goal is to put a little more [ umph ] into each day and add an extra dose of [ passion ] into everything I do....because "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." (Pres. Hinckley)

thnakes (snakes) & nacks (snacks)

this poor guy and his lisp. hopefully he grows out of it. but for now -it's cute. and he was killin' me at :30.

march madness!

march was a crazy, busy month! now that things have slowed down and i can finally breath i'll do a quick catch up of this past month...

at the beginning of month WE MOVED! now that our little fam is growing it was time to upgrade to a bigger place and move closer to saf's work and school. it was bitter-sweet leaving our first humble home. it was our first home as a married couple, it's where we learned more about one another and worked through the first few 'tough' years of our marriage, it was where we brought home our son the first night out of the hospital as new parents, safi boy had most of his 'firsts' there, saf and i spend countless nights just lying on our family room floor (because the couch was too small for both of us) while we talked about anything and everything and laughed all night while our son slept in the bedroom, it's where i learned how to cook most of the things i now know how to make, it's where our son would run out the front door early every morning to meet his daddy when he got home from work, we laughed there, cried there, fought there, prayed there, and loved there. i'll miss that place only because of the memories that were made there but am more than grateful to be moving forward to bigger things.

the same weekend we moved we also had Niko's baby blessing. it was a beautiful day. i feel so blessed and grateful to have such great family and friends who came. but most importantly i'm grateful for a loving husband/father who is worthy to bless our son's.

 

we renewed our disneyland passes!

my baby sister, Terewai, opened her mission call and was called to serve in the Philippines.

we had a small bachelorette party for my cousin Tabi and went to the skating rink and BJ's before her big day.

i got to witness another sealing in my fam. it was another beautiful day. i love my family and sitting with them all in the temple was another reminder that i get to be with them for eternity.

Mr. & Mrs. Wright.

this past weekend my two boys and i went to utah to see my baby sister perform at her last BYU Living Legends show. It was AMAZING and she was beautiful dancing up there!i know this pic is blurry but it really captured the moment of all three of us sisters. syd and i were so proud of our baby sister that night! she is dong so many amazing things with her life and she is such a good example to us.

 

i also went horseback riding pretty much everyday with my grampa, helped my mom move into their new house up there, and saw more family including my boy's aunty layn.

i flew to and from utah by myself for the first with two kids. i seriously felt like superwoman doing it. at one point on the way home (easter morning) i almost cried in the airport before boarding the plane because both boys were crying at the same time, i had baby throw up running down my shirt, safi boy had to go poopoo, and i was told if i did make it on the flight safi boy wasn't gong to be able to sit by me on the plane (life of a standby traveler). But somehow we all made it back to cali alive and luckily safi boy and i did end up sitting together.

my little fam and i spent easter day with the 'ungas for baby boss's blessing. being with friends and fam was the perfect way to end the crazy month.

(i wish i had taken more pics through out all the month's events but sometimes moments are better lived.)

Cheers to the freakin' weekend!

Seriously the only person who I can think of who is busier than a mom...is a single mom and with my husband working full time and going to school full time, I've been feeling pretty 'single' these days. I haven't been able to go back to sleep since 3:30 am because in my mind I'm trying to organize everything I need to get done before Monday. On top of it being Niko's baby blessing this Sunday with family coming into town, me stressing about the food and there being enough, and just our two families coming together at once -we're MOVING! We had put our 30 day notice in almost a month ago and I was about to cancel it because we weren't finding anything. Then at the last minute we found something, made some moves, and now we have a new place. Only thing is we have to be out by Monday or else we're going to have to pay for two rents. Since Saf has work and school, I'm left with packing up our place (and almost everything we've accumulated over the last 5 years) with my newborn and 3 year old. And yesterday we just found out Saf has to work OT Saturday night and into Sunday morning and he was pretty much all the horse power for moving the big stuff. So we're currently trying to figure out a plan B. I'm just hoping come Sunday morning for the blessing, my husband looks awake (and alive) -not like he just pulled a 12 hour shift with no sleep. Now I'm a day behind in packing because yesterday I had to run around LA county trying to replace one of our tires. Hopefully today is more successful.

My head already hurts just thinking about all of that. All i really want to do is lay in bed with my boys, go back to sleep, and wake up on Monday in our new place. Hey, if there's anyone out there trying to loose weight...this is an effective method. i already lost 3 lbs this week just from stress! (really though, running is a lot easier) Instead of taking the time to blog, I probably could have already packed 3 more boxes. But there's no time to complain to my husband about how burnt out I feel because we both have our own weight to pull to make this all work...so blogging about it shall suffice.

In all honesty though, our lives' our crazy. Our schedules are even crazier. But if I slow down just a little bit, I always recognize our blessings and the Lord's hand in everything. Things are busy, but it's a good busy. Things are moving up for our little family and we're continually progressing.

I'm just going to take these next few days a day at a time and live in the moment. If anything,I just want Sunday to be a beautiful day for us and my sweet angel, Niko.

Missing all my cousins...

From time to time i'll stop and think of so and so and wonder what they're doing that day or how they're doing. Everyone is off doing there own thing and starting their own families...which is good. But I still miss when we all use to live in fountain valley and see each others faces everyday. These pics were taken last April. Some are from our family's talent show night. There are more pics somewhere but i could only find the ones from the girl's and the boy's number. We had collected all the couches and some chairs in the church building and set them up in front of the stage in the cultural hall. The only rule that night was [ everyone had to perform something ] and participate in the show. It was a night I'm sure we'll all remember. Even though I don't get to see all [ my favorite people ] everyday, I'm grateful we all grew up together with a strong foundation and that we get to spend eternity with one another.

oh, and here's mine and my husband's spur of the moment talent. all his buffness bench pressed me. lol