Morning Epiphany

As of lately my favorite part of the day has been first thing early in the morning when i get up to go for my walk. (it use to be "jog" but this baby seems to be weighing me down and throwing my center of gravity off these days so i had to downgrade to a walk.) i usually sneak out the door before my boys wake up. it's refreshing to get away for an hour or two before the long list of to-dos have to be started and without any screamer or crier nagging at my side.

i can just quietly think to myself.

i've found that these walks are usually the times when i have my [ epiphanies ]. my most recent one was yesterday morning. the night before last i slept through an entire night of just nightmares. i woke up yesterday morning feeling bothered and negative. a walk (or run) is usually the simple cure that get's me over whatever it is that's weighing me down but for some reason, i just couldn't shake those negative feelings yesterday morning -even while on my walk.

i'm a big believer in dreams and that some have meaning behind them but i also believe that dreams, or nightmares, can be a subconscious reflection of what's going on with you consciously through out your day. obviously, there had been issues bothering this past sunday (actually it was pretty much the entire last week)...and now i was having nightmares about it. this isn't the first time this has happened to me. having "nightmares" about something is usually [ my sign ] that the issue (whatever it may be) is taking too much energy physically, mentally, and emotionally, from me. (do i sound like a whack job yet?)

i couldn't allow myself to be drained and so easily defeated over things that had been said and done. i  could [ feel sorry for myself ] for only 10 minutes...then i HAD to either do something about the situation to change it or change the way i thought about it. 

i can't always change things of the past but i can use that negativity to mold and motivated me into something [ better ] than i was yesterday.