B day tomorrow

2 days overdue.

feeling irritated, tired, sore, huge, and anxious.

when i go out in public i always catch people staring at my belly, as if they've never seen a pregnant women before. when i catch them staring my first reaction is "why are they looking down there? is my zipper undone? (then i look down to check) oh wait, i'm wearing stretchy pants." well, after tomorrow they'll have nothing left to stare at.

i had a doc appointment this morning and my midwife was going to schedule to induce me this next monday. when she said 'monday' i wanted to cry because that felt like two months away! i told her this was a tongan baby and that my first one was almost 10 lbs so i got her to bump me up to tomorrow morning. who knows...by monday this kid could be 11 lbs! once my midwife said, "ok, come to the hospital first thing tomorrow morning and i'll get you started" i was of course excited because this pregnancy was finally coming to an end and we are finally about to meet our baby...but then the anxiety kicked in. 

i'm about to have a baby.... t o m o r r o w.

my fear of painful contractions, sharp needles, blood, uncomfortable positions, and the fact that there's only one way this baby is coming out started making me hyperventilate. can i take a rain check? ok ok...i know i'm being dramatic.

 anyways, hopefully by tomorrow i'll be holding my brand new baby.

despite my fears, it really will all be more than worth it.

i can't wait.