Quick trip down memory lane

I remember when I was young and I'd go over to Grama and Grampa Wihongi's house I'd always [ cry ] and [ beg ] to stay longer every time my mom said it was time to go home. "Going home" from Grama's house always felt like the end to my little world.

Now, fast forward to the present. it's funny seeing the same scenario happen but this time from a mother's perspective. Tonight I left my mom's house with only one child, Niko, after Safi boy screamed and cried to stay with Gigi. Of course I had no objection because I could definitely use a little break. So looks like Safi boy will be getting dropped off sometime tomorrow. Until then, Niko and I will be having a par-tay through out the night getting tipsy off that milk...well, he will at least while I'm half awake with one eye open.

this mama's genes are showing through

BOOM! 

there it is...a dimple!

finally some physical proof that he is my son, not just my husbands.

i'm so in love with my little Niko.

You know your best friends when...

...you have a petty argument and then are silent while sitting next to one another but then want the other person to hurry and say "sorry" first so you can tell them something crazy that happened the day before.

(This may or may not have happened between my husband and I)

birth story

it's been two weeks since our second born, [ Nikotimasi Kali ], arrived. he was born January 4th at 1:19 pm weighing 9 lbs 14 oz and was 21 3/4 in long. the birth of this son was like night from day compared to our first. here's Niko's story...

i had a doctor appointment on the 3rd, the day before he came, and i was still only dialated to a 1 1/2. i was already a couple days overdue and my midwife told me she wouldn't be able to schedule my induction until monday, january 7th. that seemed aaaaaaaaages away and considering the fact that i had a huge baby my first time, my midwife said she would pull a few strings so she could induce me the following day. she basically told me to show up at the hospital the next morning and tell the nurse i had been having contractions and then she would just check me in to start my induction.

so that night safi boy went to stay with my sister and my husband stayed home from work. since it was our last night together before #2 arrived and we didn't have #1 with us, we stayed up getting junk food wasted and watched pitch perfect. we ended staying up even later doing some last minute cleaning, packing our bags for the hospital, and talking about absolutely nothing just because we couldn't sleep from the anxiety and anticipation of the next day's big event. i figured once i got to the hospital first thing in the morning and got hooked up with an IV, pitocin and epidural, i would have the rest of the day to rest and sleep while we waited for baby. [ stupidest idea ever! ]

right before i checked into the hospital that morning. super excited to finally get this baby out and meet him.

we woke up that morning (with literally only about 3 hours of sleep) and left for the hospital. once i checked myself into labor and delivery, changed into a hospital gown, and got hooked up to the monitoring machines -things got a little ...mmmm ...awkward. the nurse asked me when did i start having contractions and how far apart they were. and since i hadn't had any i was totally just making up numbers off the top of my head. [ i'm the worst liar. ] the nurses obviously knew i wasn't having any contractions so i asked them if my midwife was on shift. after they talked to her they said they were going to keep me (despite my imaginary contractions). i walked to my delivery room and got my IV and pitocin hooked up. not too long after that i started having contractions so i asked to have my epidural. before the anestesiologist got to my room i told my husband to just leave to go get something to eat. i was a long ways from having baby and i figured there was noting he was gong to miss in the next hour or so. so he left and not too long after that i got my epidural.

 right after my epidural the nurse kept on looking at baby's heartbeat monitor with a concerned look on her face. i asked her if everything was alright with the baby. when she didn't say anything and left the room quickly i knew something was wrong. she came back with my midwife who then broke my water. my midwife too had a concerned look on her face. she told me baby's heartbeat was dropping so she called in a doctor. when the doctor came in he told me he didn't like seeing the baby's heartbeat that low and he wasn't sure exactly what was going on so he wanted to do a c-section asap. c-section? that was the last thing i wanted to do. at that point i was so scared for my baby. right after the doctor said i needed to have a c-section asap everything started happening so fast. all of a sudden there were a handful of nurses in my room. one was collecting all my personal belongings, another was asking where my husband was at, and the rest were prepping me for the OR. i tried to stay calm and take deep breathes but inside i was [ panicking! ] i just kept on repeating in my head [ "i can do hard things" ] i called my husband right away to tell him he needed to get back to the hospital asap. when i asked him where he was at he said he was a ways away ...and lost! (anyone who knows my husband knows how un-direction oriented he is) out of alllll the times he could get lost he had to be lost at this great moment of need. i didn't even have enough time to be his mapquest and help him find his way back to the hospital because i was being rolled out of the room. so i hung up on him and said a little pray that he would find his way back in time ...before he missed the moment his child came into this world and he became wifeless!

before i knew it i was in the OR under bright lights, a nurse was putting a cap on me, and my body was going dumb (everything had happened so fast that the epidural from earlier hadn't even kicked in yet). all i could feel were my tears running down my cheeks. still no husband. whether or not my husband was there, that baby was coming out now. i was scared. not only was i scared but i felt so alone. i kept on telling myself "i can do hard things...i can do hard things". i silently prayed and prayed and PRAYED that everything would be ok with baby and that my husband would make it in time. in literally 5 minutes i was done being prepped and the doctors were ready to start. i thought to myself "i will never forgive my husband for not being here with me." just as the doctor made the first incision my husband walked in. i felt so relieved. after being so drugged up, the only thing i could manage to say to him was "i was going to kill you if you missed this." (ya, the loving, patient wife had already left the building!)

i watched my husband's face while the doctors did their thing. he just had this blank look on his face (which made me even more scared) as he watched what was going on. i was still crying and hoping for the best. before i knew it i felt this huge weight taken off me, the doctor saying, "it's a boy!", and then i heard my son's cry for the first time. i cried and cried after feeling so relieved when i heard his little voice. i couldn't see him because of the blue curtain in front of my face so i kept on asking my husband if everything was ok with baby but he didn't hear me because every time i tried to speak my words were all jumbled up because i was so woozy from the drugs. i was going crazy because no one was letting me know what was going on with my son. i just wanted to know that everything was ok and that he was healthy. all i heard as the nurses were talking was he weighed 9 lbs 14 oz. after what seemed like forever, saf finally got to hold our son for a quick second and show him to me. even then i still didn't get to touch him or even get a good look at him. saf had to give him back to the nurses so they could monitor him in the NICU.

after my c-section i was taken to a recovery room where i had to wait for an 1 1/2 hrs before i would be taken to my final recovery room. all i could think about was my son and finally getting to hold him. saf was able to show me a couple pics he took of him while in the OR. after 1 1/2 hrs the nurses pushed me out and said we would stop by the NICU to see our son. when we got there a nurse brought him over for me to hold while i layed there in  my bed. i remember feeling a little nervous to hold him because my arms were still somewhat numb but once i saw him all my worries quickly left. his hair was so dark. he looked just like his older brother but he felt so different to me. i fell in love with him instantly! he was so big and he had the cutest chubby cheeks! the nurses said his heartbeat was steady and they were done monitoring him so i was able to take him back to my room with me.

in the NICU

holding Niko for the first time.

 proud daddy.

martinelli's for our celebration dinner.

with his papa & gigi.

 finally about to leave the hospital and go home. i couldn't wait to get out of there with all those annoying nurses.

 ready to go home with his cousin Layna.

chubby cheeks.

he always has this single curl in the front.

 he has two cowlicks right in the front.

we made another handsome boy.

my babydaddy.

 terina (3 months older) & niko with grama & grampa wihongi.

grama and grampa getting niko dressed after his first bath. he looks so HUGE with grama holding him.

can't believe we have two kids now.

all bundled up. the hospital gave him this hand crochet beanie.

his birth was a little more than hectic and a c-section was not apart of the plan but i'm just more than grateful for a big, healthy boy.
i'm [ so in love ] with my new little one.

the day niko was born was definitely one of the best days of my life.

...it really doesn't get much better than this.

B day tomorrow

2 days overdue.

feeling irritated, tired, sore, huge, and anxious.

when i go out in public i always catch people staring at my belly, as if they've never seen a pregnant women before. when i catch them staring my first reaction is "why are they looking down there? is my zipper undone? (then i look down to check) oh wait, i'm wearing stretchy pants." well, after tomorrow they'll have nothing left to stare at.

i had a doc appointment this morning and my midwife was going to schedule to induce me this next monday. when she said 'monday' i wanted to cry because that felt like two months away! i told her this was a tongan baby and that my first one was almost 10 lbs so i got her to bump me up to tomorrow morning. who knows...by monday this kid could be 11 lbs! once my midwife said, "ok, come to the hospital first thing tomorrow morning and i'll get you started" i was of course excited because this pregnancy was finally coming to an end and we are finally about to meet our baby...but then the anxiety kicked in. 

i'm about to have a baby.... t o m o r r o w.

my fear of painful contractions, sharp needles, blood, uncomfortable positions, and the fact that there's only one way this baby is coming out started making me hyperventilate. can i take a rain check? ok ok...i know i'm being dramatic.

 anyways, hopefully by tomorrow i'll be holding my brand new baby.

despite my fears, it really will all be more than worth it.

i can't wait.