Fear of creating

It's the most re-DONK-ulous thing! ...I [ LOVE ] to create things, yet I have the [ biggest fear ] of doing so! Makes no sense, right? I have constantly suppressed my "creative urge" with excuses such as "I don't really know what I'm doing so why try" or "it's not going to be good enough or perfect enough" or "my work will never be as talented and brilliant as theirs". 

Whelp, no more of that none sense. I've been feeling creatively starved! I told myself this year will be different. 

Who cares if I don't know all the right techniques or even exactly what I'm doing -I'll make my own rules that align with what feels "best" for me. 

No more perfection. 

No more worrying about critiques or others opinions. Be vulnerable. 

No more excuses. 

Less thinking, more feeling. 

Just create and see where it takes me.

I've already started a couple projects this year and am starting to heal the creative side of me. I'll probably start sharing more of my creative journey here. 

Here's a pic of my latest work and they're going to keep coming...

                                   

33 weeks: we're in the last stretch now

Where has the time gone?! Sweats, yoga, and stretchy pants have now been hired full time and jeans have been laid off until may. In less than 2 more months and this little guy will be here. I think the more kids you have the faster each pregnancy goes. Now that my back pain has started and baby is starting to get heavy I just want it to be over but then at the same time I want time to slow down because I feel like I still need to get so much done before he gets here. I guess I better wash and fold all the 3 month onesies...because YES, somehow my babies skip the newborn/1 month sizes and come out as 3 month olds. But it's just like all the other pregnancies, you feel like you're not ready but really you're as ready as you'll ever be. 

My husband and I are excited though. Our little tribe of boys is growing. And honestly I'm a little scared too. Saf is working full time, going to school, we have a 1 yr old that doesn't even walk yet, we have little fam near by and no parents, and we're just trying to "make it" on our own. Somehow it all works out though....right? Lol

Empowering parent

Last week I took my son to run a quick errand with me. As I was picking up the few things I needed he spotted a train THAT HE JUST HAD TO HAVE. Instead of buying it for him just so I didn't have to hear him crying for it I told him if he helps me around the house I'd pay him money and if he saved up enough money I'd take him back to the store and he could buy it himself. The very next morning the first thing he said to me when he woke up was, "mommy, can I wash the dishes for you?" That was music to my ears! I put that kid to work and he loved it! He "washed" all the dishes in the sink and then I "rewashed" them. Lol But afterwards I kept my end of the deal and gave him a couple one dollar bills. He had the biggest smile on his face and it made me so happy seeing the satisfaction and pride he had for himself from earning his own money. A couple days later I took him to the store, he picked out a train, and then handed the cashier the money from his wallet. He was the happiest kid walking out of that store and I was happy to have been able to teach him that:

1)if you want something you need to work to earn it. 

2)the world does not owe you anything! you are not entitled to things you have not earned. 

3)responsibility for actions: there are consequences and rewards for your actions. 

I am by far not the perfect parent but these are the moments that are so rewarding for me -to be able to teach my children important life lessons that I hope they'll remember and practice through out their lives. I love my babies so much and want them to be truly happy. Even though their both still so young, it's never too early to prepare them for the future.

   

                                    

27 weeks

  This pregnancy is just flying by! I can't believe I'm already almost in my third trimester. I've been too busy with my other two kids that I have had little time to ever even think about this little one.  But I had a doc appointment earlier this week (I went alone) and I was finally able to slow down just a bit and think about the near future. I was grateful to hear that everything sounded good with baby. I'm going to have my hands full with 3 kids under the age of four but I'm still excited! My husband and I just lalaLOVE our boys and don't know what we'd do without them. Oh, by the way -not sure if I already mentioned it in here but we're expecting another boy. Anyways, so far so good! I'm hoping for a natural delivery this time though (no c-sections!). Only a couple more months left...

                                

2013 recap for our little fam bam

I can't believe 2013 is already over! Our 2013 was super busy and productive for Saf and I. So much happened and everything happened so fast that the year went by in a blur. We opened 2013 with a bang by welcoming our 2nd team member, Niko!

He's been such a beautiful blessing for our family. He takes after his mama and I'm proud of that!

Shortly after Niko was born we moved (not too far) and Saf started another semester of school.  Oh my stress! Moving right after having a newborn and starting a new semester of school is cuh-razy but we some how made it through!

We renewed our Disneyland passes and Safi boy has been able to show Niko around the park and take him on his favorite rides. 

Safi boy got his first taste in putting his athleticism into good use...KARATE! It was a crack up watching this little guy do his thang!

In the summer we had lots of beach days, but hopefully even more this year. 

We also had a mini fam reunion for my family and stayed in a hotel on the beach in Laguna Beach for a night.

We made a couple trips to Utah to see my family and I was able to get a couple good rides in with my Grandpa.

Of course we had many stay-at-home-lazy-silly days.

At the end of the summer we had a mini reunion with Saf's family up in Monterey. It's gorgeous up there! I even got my husband to go kayaking with us in the bay (if you know my husband than you already know he doesn't do anything water). 

Like I said -it's been a very busy year for Saf and I. At the end of the summer we found out big news.....WE'RE EXPECTING AGAIN! Talk about SURPRISE BABY! Oh well, might as well get our football team going now (we're having another boy).

In September we celebrated our 5 year anniversary (with kids and all! One day we'll get our 2nd honeymoon, right?). We stayed at the Hilton in Huntington Beach right acros the street from the beach. It was a nice close-to-home getaway.  

I ran my first 5k with my sis, Lia. One of my 2014 goals is to run a half marathon!

We ended 2013 with Saf finishing another semester at school and spending the holidays here at home with just us. Honestly, it was nice to just relax for one Christmas and not having to worry about traveling here and there all in the same day. 

2013 was very good to us and we have much to be grateful for. But this year has been quite the emotional roller coaster for me so I'm more than ready for 2014 to roll on in! 

Overcoming my roadblocks

To ever be successful at something, I believe two of the roadblocks you have to over come are:

-fear of failing

-fear of what others might think

I truly believe that amazing things will start to blossom in your life when you overcome these two things!

I finally stopped listening to my sorry excuses and all the reasons "why I shouldn't" and made a new Instagram account to help keep me motivated with eating clean and eventually loosing the baby weight. Yesterday I posted on my personal insta account about this new project I started for those of my family and friends who might be interested. After I had posted about it I thought to myself, "OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT. DID. I. JUST. DO?!" I felt so vulnerable to the opinions and critiques of my peers and thoughts of potential failure ran through my mind. I had a mini panick attack! Lol. Good news -I'm feeling much better this morning. I reminded mysellf that I'm doing this for me and for those who are interested. Any haters can just kiss my arse! Lol anyways, I'm excited to see what my future holds. 

Follow me @thehavenlydose if you're interested in jumping on the healthy bandwagon too!

                          

My Little Masters of Change

                       

I just love these little boys to death! This was them last night at Rancho ward's trunk-or-treat . Anyways, on a totally different note...being a mother I'm constantly thinking of all the many different things I want to teach and impress upon my kids as they grow up so that they will eventually grow into functional, good, happy members of society. One of the things I was thinking about this past week was bullying. While growing up at one point or another my husband and I had both been bullied. (I'm sure it's something that everyone has unpleasantly experienced.) It would be so heartbreaking to ever hear about any of my kids getting bullied and even more horrifying if I ever found out they were a bully. I've often thought about how I would deal with it if my kids found themselves in either position (and obviously we would assume our kids would or could never be "that" kid, "the bully", but we don't live in a perfect world and our kids aren't perfect.) The wearing of pink shirts and passing of anti-bullying bylaws have been in recent news. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the anti-bullying movement but is that really enough? There is no way we will ever completely eliminate bullying just like this world will never completely have world peace (in this life at least) -simply due to the fact that there is opposition in all things. As my kids grow up and eventually go through school and come in contact with many more different people and build new relationships, they WILL in some way become hurt by others intentionally. As they learn and grow I want to teach and help them to have great inner confidence that no insecure bully can break and also how to cope/deal with "mean" people instead of "playing victim." For me, it's crucial that my kids know and understand how to be MASTERS OF CHANGE for them selves and for society, rather than play victim. I won't always physically be by their side 24/7 but my husband and I can help them gain the ability to stand up for themselves. And of course, we will teach them to be kind, charitable, tolerant individuals to hopefully insure that they will never be found on the "bully side". Parenting isn't easy but this issue is one of the many things I hope to be found successful in as I continue to teach my kids each day.