{ mommy confessions }

-sometimes i let my son drink diet coke. one night he was crying to drink some of mine. i was too tired to deal with him so i filled his sippy cup with some. hey, at least i diluted it with water.

-my son doesn't really have a bedtime. i like him to go to sleep at night when i do because i'd rather him not wake up in the morning before i do or before i can get some things done around the house with out him...which means he goes to bed pretty late sometimes.

-i didn't even cry when he was born (like i imaged i would). not because i loved him any less, but i was just TOO EXHAUSTED from pushing out an almost 10 lber that i didn't even have enough energy to shed one tear.

-i actually like that he sleeps right next to me every night in my bed.

-i always feel a bit of guiltiness everytime i do something for 'just myself'.

-i let him go barefoot all the time and it doesnt bother me if he picks up a piece of food off the ground and eats it...as long as its not a cigarete, old gum, or rocks. a 'lil dirt wont hurt...right? lol

-when i go to go to the grocery store or laundry mat alone...it feels like a mini vacation.

-i hid my son's Buzz Lightyear action figure for a couple days because I couldn't stand hearing him scream and cry, like someone had died (yes, it was that serious!) every time his 'position' was slighly altered (he likes him standing a certain way with his hands perfectly on his hips, wings expanded, and feet/legs perfectly straight so he can balance correctly and stand on the table by himself)

-actually, i have another confession to add to the last one...Buzz's couple days of solitary confinement wasn't enough for me so I let him 'sleepover' at Gigi's house (where he is still sleeping)

-when i feel like i'm starting to loose it or go a little crazy, i put myself on time-out (for the safety of others).

-i've let my son eat nothing but cake for breakfast.......a couple times.

-by the time our 2nd one comes along, there's going to be an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny feeling of saddness because my son will no longer be my only and we won't get that same one-on-one time. (but of course i'll be far happier with another addition because that means two sidekicks and more cheap child labor.....lol just kiiiiiiiidding.)

-for keepsakes, i saved a part of my son's umbilical cord when it fell off his tummy a couple weeks after he was born. (i dont really think this is a confession but my husband thinks i'm sick/gross for doing this and acts like it should be one.)

-when my son is playing on the playground and an older kid starts teasing him, my son will show them a 'lil fist action (even though he's younger and smaller. NO FEAR!) Verbally, I'll put on a show and tell him to stop because "that's not nice" (just so their parents will stop throwing a hissy fit) but inside I'm jumping up and down, fist pumping, shouting "YEAH BABY! GET 'UM! DON'T LET THAT KID PUNK YOU!"

that was a few more confessions than i expected....and there's probably still a lot more. lol

i may not be a perfect mommy...

 but i'm real.

i say sorry when i'm wrong.

i take the time to stay close to my son, teach him, and to know him -his likes, dislikes, what makes him happy or sad, and to make sure he knows i care.

i [ show ] him i love him and [ tell ] him about a hundred times a day.

i may not be the best at...a lot of things, but i know i'm a pretty dang good mommy and the [ best ] one for my son!

we're cool ;)

{ thicker than blood }

Last Saturday I was blessed to witness the beautiful sealing of my little sister and her husband for time and all eternity in the Newport Beach temple. As they knelt across the altar it brought back precious memories of my own sealing to my sweet husband. Even though my husband wasn't able to make it that day (due to his INSANE work schedule) I know he is mine and will forever be mine, as with my son and future children, due to the sacred covenants we made on -our day-.

As I was sitting in the waiting room before the sealing started, the room started to crowd as it filled up with all of my family who came from near and far. Through the crowd I spotted my husband's parents.When I saw them I immediately felt not only gratitude because they made the long drive to show their support for my family, but I was overwhelmed with this comfortable, familiar feeling that I couldn't pin-point just what it exactly was right at that moment. I quickly realized this feeling was a deep sense of 'home'-my other home-my other family. Through marrying my husband, I was blessed and bound to his family...who I now see as my family.

I love my bro-in-laws, sis-in-laws, and aunties and uncle who married into the fam just the same. Despite any similarities, differences,  where we come from, or how we perceive things we have to make it work because are we not all eternally bound?

They say blood is thicker than water...but today I was reminded once again what is even thicker than blood-a family that is eternally bound both on earth and in heaven.

*ok...enough with the softness. here's a few pics from over the weekend.

The CUTE COUPLE-So proud of you sis & thanks bro for making her truly happy!
*photo taken by our new family photographer, Lia Barlow

{ And all this time... }

Tonight before I put my son to sleep I knelt down by the bed to say prayer. Since he's starting to talk and copy everything we do, I figured my son is old enough to learn the basics of it. So as I knelt down (already assuming he wasn't going to pay much attention), he surprisingly came and knelt down right next to me (as if he already knew what was about to happen). As I closed my eyes and began my simple, child-like prayer (so my son could understand) I felt his little hand reach around me as he then rested it on my back and he held me as best as his short arms could. (what's funny is this is what Saf does to me everyday when we say family prayer)  Safi boy was reverent and still the entire brief prayer. As soon as I said 'amen' and opened my eyes, he let go of me and he was back to his old self -bouncing off the walls.

And all this time I never even thought he was paying attention to us (Saf and I) as we prayed together everyday while he jumped on the couch or on us...and I definitely didn't think he ever noticed the small gesture his father makes as he holds his mother even closer while they pray.