birth story

it's been two weeks since our second born, [ Nikotimasi Kali ], arrived. he was born January 4th at 1:19 pm weighing 9 lbs 14 oz and was 21 3/4 in long. the birth of this son was like night from day compared to our first. here's Niko's story...

i had a doctor appointment on the 3rd, the day before he came, and i was still only dialated to a 1 1/2. i was already a couple days overdue and my midwife told me she wouldn't be able to schedule my induction until monday, january 7th. that seemed aaaaaaaaages away and considering the fact that i had a huge baby my first time, my midwife said she would pull a few strings so she could induce me the following day. she basically told me to show up at the hospital the next morning and tell the nurse i had been having contractions and then she would just check me in to start my induction.

so that night safi boy went to stay with my sister and my husband stayed home from work. since it was our last night together before #2 arrived and we didn't have #1 with us, we stayed up getting junk food wasted and watched pitch perfect. we ended staying up even later doing some last minute cleaning, packing our bags for the hospital, and talking about absolutely nothing just because we couldn't sleep from the anxiety and anticipation of the next day's big event. i figured once i got to the hospital first thing in the morning and got hooked up with an IV, pitocin and epidural, i would have the rest of the day to rest and sleep while we waited for baby. [ stupidest idea ever! ]

right before i checked into the hospital that morning. super excited to finally get this baby out and meet him.

we woke up that morning (with literally only about 3 hours of sleep) and left for the hospital. once i checked myself into labor and delivery, changed into a hospital gown, and got hooked up to the monitoring machines -things got a little ...mmmm ...awkward. the nurse asked me when did i start having contractions and how far apart they were. and since i hadn't had any i was totally just making up numbers off the top of my head. [ i'm the worst liar. ] the nurses obviously knew i wasn't having any contractions so i asked them if my midwife was on shift. after they talked to her they said they were going to keep me (despite my imaginary contractions). i walked to my delivery room and got my IV and pitocin hooked up. not too long after that i started having contractions so i asked to have my epidural. before the anestesiologist got to my room i told my husband to just leave to go get something to eat. i was a long ways from having baby and i figured there was noting he was gong to miss in the next hour or so. so he left and not too long after that i got my epidural.

 right after my epidural the nurse kept on looking at baby's heartbeat monitor with a concerned look on her face. i asked her if everything was alright with the baby. when she didn't say anything and left the room quickly i knew something was wrong. she came back with my midwife who then broke my water. my midwife too had a concerned look on her face. she told me baby's heartbeat was dropping so she called in a doctor. when the doctor came in he told me he didn't like seeing the baby's heartbeat that low and he wasn't sure exactly what was going on so he wanted to do a c-section asap. c-section? that was the last thing i wanted to do. at that point i was so scared for my baby. right after the doctor said i needed to have a c-section asap everything started happening so fast. all of a sudden there were a handful of nurses in my room. one was collecting all my personal belongings, another was asking where my husband was at, and the rest were prepping me for the OR. i tried to stay calm and take deep breathes but inside i was [ panicking! ] i just kept on repeating in my head [ "i can do hard things" ] i called my husband right away to tell him he needed to get back to the hospital asap. when i asked him where he was at he said he was a ways away ...and lost! (anyone who knows my husband knows how un-direction oriented he is) out of alllll the times he could get lost he had to be lost at this great moment of need. i didn't even have enough time to be his mapquest and help him find his way back to the hospital because i was being rolled out of the room. so i hung up on him and said a little pray that he would find his way back in time ...before he missed the moment his child came into this world and he became wifeless!

before i knew it i was in the OR under bright lights, a nurse was putting a cap on me, and my body was going dumb (everything had happened so fast that the epidural from earlier hadn't even kicked in yet). all i could feel were my tears running down my cheeks. still no husband. whether or not my husband was there, that baby was coming out now. i was scared. not only was i scared but i felt so alone. i kept on telling myself "i can do hard things...i can do hard things". i silently prayed and prayed and PRAYED that everything would be ok with baby and that my husband would make it in time. in literally 5 minutes i was done being prepped and the doctors were ready to start. i thought to myself "i will never forgive my husband for not being here with me." just as the doctor made the first incision my husband walked in. i felt so relieved. after being so drugged up, the only thing i could manage to say to him was "i was going to kill you if you missed this." (ya, the loving, patient wife had already left the building!)

i watched my husband's face while the doctors did their thing. he just had this blank look on his face (which made me even more scared) as he watched what was going on. i was still crying and hoping for the best. before i knew it i felt this huge weight taken off me, the doctor saying, "it's a boy!", and then i heard my son's cry for the first time. i cried and cried after feeling so relieved when i heard his little voice. i couldn't see him because of the blue curtain in front of my face so i kept on asking my husband if everything was ok with baby but he didn't hear me because every time i tried to speak my words were all jumbled up because i was so woozy from the drugs. i was going crazy because no one was letting me know what was going on with my son. i just wanted to know that everything was ok and that he was healthy. all i heard as the nurses were talking was he weighed 9 lbs 14 oz. after what seemed like forever, saf finally got to hold our son for a quick second and show him to me. even then i still didn't get to touch him or even get a good look at him. saf had to give him back to the nurses so they could monitor him in the NICU.

after my c-section i was taken to a recovery room where i had to wait for an 1 1/2 hrs before i would be taken to my final recovery room. all i could think about was my son and finally getting to hold him. saf was able to show me a couple pics he took of him while in the OR. after 1 1/2 hrs the nurses pushed me out and said we would stop by the NICU to see our son. when we got there a nurse brought him over for me to hold while i layed there in  my bed. i remember feeling a little nervous to hold him because my arms were still somewhat numb but once i saw him all my worries quickly left. his hair was so dark. he looked just like his older brother but he felt so different to me. i fell in love with him instantly! he was so big and he had the cutest chubby cheeks! the nurses said his heartbeat was steady and they were done monitoring him so i was able to take him back to my room with me.

in the NICU

holding Niko for the first time.

 proud daddy.

martinelli's for our celebration dinner.

with his papa & gigi.

 finally about to leave the hospital and go home. i couldn't wait to get out of there with all those annoying nurses.

 ready to go home with his cousin Layna.

chubby cheeks.

he always has this single curl in the front.

 he has two cowlicks right in the front.

we made another handsome boy.

my babydaddy.

 terina (3 months older) & niko with grama & grampa wihongi.

grama and grampa getting niko dressed after his first bath. he looks so HUGE with grama holding him.

can't believe we have two kids now.

all bundled up. the hospital gave him this hand crochet beanie.

his birth was a little more than hectic and a c-section was not apart of the plan but i'm just more than grateful for a big, healthy boy.
i'm [ so in love ] with my new little one.

the day niko was born was definitely one of the best days of my life.

...it really doesn't get much better than this.

B day tomorrow

2 days overdue.

feeling irritated, tired, sore, huge, and anxious.

when i go out in public i always catch people staring at my belly, as if they've never seen a pregnant women before. when i catch them staring my first reaction is "why are they looking down there? is my zipper undone? (then i look down to check) oh wait, i'm wearing stretchy pants." well, after tomorrow they'll have nothing left to stare at.

i had a doc appointment this morning and my midwife was going to schedule to induce me this next monday. when she said 'monday' i wanted to cry because that felt like two months away! i told her this was a tongan baby and that my first one was almost 10 lbs so i got her to bump me up to tomorrow morning. who knows...by monday this kid could be 11 lbs! once my midwife said, "ok, come to the hospital first thing tomorrow morning and i'll get you started" i was of course excited because this pregnancy was finally coming to an end and we are finally about to meet our baby...but then the anxiety kicked in. 

i'm about to have a baby.... t o m o r r o w.

my fear of painful contractions, sharp needles, blood, uncomfortable positions, and the fact that there's only one way this baby is coming out started making me hyperventilate. can i take a rain check? ok ok...i know i'm being dramatic.

 anyways, hopefully by tomorrow i'll be holding my brand new baby.

despite my fears, it really will all be more than worth it.

i can't wait.

prego update

...aaaannnnd still NO BABY!

my due date is on tuesday (January 1st) and today i found out i'm only dialated to a 1 1/2. ugh. i really thought i was further along because i've been doing the most trying to get this baby out. i'm almost desperate enough to get out tomorrow and walk for 3 hours straight while going to town on some jalepenos and red rooster sauce...but not desperate enough to down castor oil. although, i was desperate enough to look up on youtube how to preform acupressure and locate the pressure points that stimulate natural induction. didn't work but i'm going to try round 2 tonight. i was crossing my fingers for a december baby so my mama could make it to birth but looks like that's not happening since she's leaving for utah tomorrow. 

despite these past couple days dragging, this pregnancy has really flown by. i still remember the day i found out i was expecting. i waited a couple days after that to tell my husband (which was the hardest thing for me to do because it's hard to keep anything from him and i'm the worst liar). since his birthday had just pasted at the time, i decided to give him a late birthday gift. i wrapped two test in a box (and of course i had to get the test that actually said "PREGNANT" because he wouldn't have remembered what the double lines meant) and told him i had a late birthday present for him. he thought it was the new phone he had been wanting. he was totally surprised and caught off guard once he finally opened the box and saw the tests. he didn't 'cry' but it was a tender moment seeing him get all choked up. and i got the whole thing on video...

(sorry, the sounds sucks.)

 

32 week update

...only 8 more weeks to go!

when i woke up this morning and stepped on the scale this was totally my reaction...

OH MY WEIGHT GAIN?! i swear no matter what i do or how healthy i eat my body just does not stay within the "recommended pregnancy weight gain scale". uuuugggggghhhhhh.

 

 here's the baby bump. i would have taken a real picture of myself, but the illusion of my shadow makes me look much skinnier. ha!

 it has really started to get to me. maybe it's just these prego hormones taking me on an emotional roller coaster because most of the time i'm fine but then i have my moments where i just want to cry (sometimes i do) and I get all moody. my husband doesn't do well with my pity parties, which is probably a good thing because it helps me snap out of it faster. i've just figured if i've lost all the baby weight (and some) the first time around i can do it again the second time. 

today i read the talk Of Regrets and Resolutions by President Uchtdorf from this last general conference that really put things back into perspective for me. the impression that stood out in my mind was:

i don't want to look back at this particular time in my life with regrets and wish i would have let myself be happier.

is gaining some extra weight really the end of the world? definitely NOT.
am i more than what it says on the scale? OF COURSE!
am i blessed? extremely.
am i healthy? YES.
what is my body actually doing? making a miracle -an actual human being!
isn't this what i wanted (to be pregnant)? YES, and i am more than grateful for it. 

...so why not just be happy [ all ] the time? 
  ok, no more pity parties for me.
[ i'm too blessed to be stressed ] 
i will enjoy the rest of this pregnancy journey and just be happy.
 

i guess i'll post a real updated pic of the baby bump...

this boy is finally popping out! according to the app What To Expect, he is about the size of a honeydew (4.5 lbs). i'm already always constantly out of breath and my tummy feels so tight so i don't understand how there could possibly be an more room for him to grow any bigger. 

my favorite craving is crushed ice. 

simple things such as getting up and down and bending over are starting to get difficult. 

as you can tell in the pic, i think it's time to give in and buy some maternity tops so that more than half the belly is covered.

i can't believe my baby boy is almost here! i'm so excited and ready to have another one! 

pop, pop, POPPIN' IT!

I  C A N ' T  W A I T  T O  G E T  M Y  B O D Y  B A C K ! ! !

...things don't fit the same anymore, my hips, thighs, and toosh feel, well -HUGE, my face looks like a blow fish, and i have a constant pain in my lower back/tail bone region (sorry, TMI?). every time i see my doctor she tells me i need to slow down on my eating. i gained 5 lbs last month and she asked me in surprise, "WHAT ARE YOU EATING?!" wth? really? what a friggin beezy! honestly, i thought i was doing to good, because my last pregnancy i literally ate everything and gained 60 lbs (and i'm nowhere near that right now)...so i'm pretty damn proud of myself this time around. my body isn't made like a match stick, so no matter what i do there's no way i'm only gaining 20 lbs my entire pregnancy. screw my doctor. i know my body better than she does. i lost all the baby weight and then some last pregnancy, so i'm pretty sure i can do it again. somehow my mom and all my aunties got smaller after each of their pregnancies -i'm hoping i inherited the same genes and i loose another 15 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. i know i sound so vain right now but i don't deal with all the prego changes so well.

anyways, as i start my third trimester working out has become harder. but i found a new routine that keeps my motivated... Z U M B A ! i wish i could go to an actual class instead, but my gym membership is still canceled. so youtube is just going to have to work for now. by the end of each workout i'm dripping in sweat and the best thing about it is it doesn't even feel like a workout because you're dancing the entire time. if you really want an intense workout i found this cray-cray latina chick whose workouts buuuuuuuurrrrn. [ try it out ] if you don't believe me. it's HI-larious trying to

 [ pop it ] when i have this huge belly in the front. (my equilibrium is so off!) good thing i'm doing it in the comfort of my own home -for my eyes only. ha!

i'm almost 28 weeks now. all this poppin' and booty shaking better keep my weight in check until this baby boy arrives.

oh, and there's my son. he dances sometimes with me but mostly just stands there and laughs at me. he thinks his mama is crazy!

NYC maternity photoshoot

one of my biggest regrets from my first pregnancy was not having maternity pictures taken. i didn't want to make the same mistake twice so while i was in new york my talented sister-in-law, Lia, took some great photos on the Brooklyn bridge and in Central Park....and i love them!

preggers update

23 weeks!

-i can finally feel baby kick from the outside when i put my hand on my belly

-diet coke (my previous addiction) leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and it just doesn't taste the same anymore. i rarely drink it, but i guess that's a good thing

-the infamous prego "waddle walk" is starting to creep in. ugh. i sometimes catch myself doing the waddle and try to walk normal again. my strut is officially bipolar.

-i'm actually not eating like a hippo this pregnancy and i try and workout when i can so i've been feeling pretty good...a little plump, but still pretty good

-i don't have too many cravings but the "nesting" symptom is in full effect! i always have this constant urge to clean, organize, and redecorate our home. my husband thinks i'm crazy because i'll just clean, clean, CLEAN until i'm exhausted

-this pregnancy seems to be going pretty fast. after chasing after a 2 year old all day long, i don't find time to sit around and count the months, days, minutes, and seconds til this baby gets here (like i did my first pregnancy)

-speaking of my 2 year old, i have high hopes for this little one on the way. i'm crossing my fingers/praying that he's calmer and more docile than his older brother. if not, than i might only be having two kids. ha!

-every morning i wake up excited just thinking that in a couple more months i'm going to be a mommy again

 

Drum roll, please...

aaaaaaaaannnnndddd.......

i guess my husband's [ will ] was strong enough because this baby is most definitely a boy. there's no mistaking that! we decided if we were expecting a girl -i'd get to name her or if it was a boy -saf would name him. so looks like my husband gets the honor of naming this little one, and i'm more than ok with that (because i already have our baby girl's name lined up). he's already got his name picked out and it's cute to see him so excited about it. and secretly, i'm excited to still be the only girl in our bunch, for now.

there's the little man!

i'm so excited for my safi boy to have a new best friend. he's going to be happy to have a little brother he can rough up and teach him his mischievous ways! i can't wait to meet baby and see what he looks like. you already know he's going to be a cutie, just like his older bro.

i was telling my husband the other day (in a Captin Planet's voice) "with our powers combined....we 'bout to make some good lookin' kids!" maybe this one will have hazel eyes (like his mama), caramel skin, and blonde curly hair. who knows. either way he'll be perfect!

boy or girl?

tomorrow is a [ big ] day.

i'm having my ultrasound and we're finding out what we're having, a boy or girl.

i guess we kind of already have an idea of what we're expecting but saf and i never settled with the results of the last ultrasound, since i was only 16 weeks when i had it.

...so there's still hope for my baby girl.

either way i'm happy though. i just want a healthy, happy baby. right now i feel baby kicking and moving all around up in here.

aw, i already love this [ baby ] so much.